


My Precious Alien

by Blood_Haruspex



Series: Enemy of my Enemy [1]
Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Because it's the 90s, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Deliberate Values Dissonance, Discrimination, Homophobia, Hork-Bajir, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Other, Personal Growth, Phobes becoming allies, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans character ashamed to be trans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2020-07-19 17:34:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 33,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19977883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blood_Haruspex/pseuds/Blood_Haruspex
Summary: Ax has gotten pretty good at being human, about as good as an Andalite can get. But some aspects of human culture elude him. Notably, dating. Not to be outdone by his brother, Ax is determined to find out what these crazy humans are so enamored with.Tobias has a secret, but Marco's always been good at guessing games.





	1. Ax I

**Author's Note:**

> My word choice is deliberate. Just like I throw in tons of dated and anachronistic references from the nebulous 'back then', I throw in a lot of 90's attitudes towards LGBT stuff. That means explicit *-phobia, and very dirty slurs that were common parlance at the time. Note that those are not my views, and those who are easily upset might want to skip this one.

My name is Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. I am an andalite _aristh_ from planet Andal. I have become embedded in a guerilla war against the mind-controlling Yeerk slugs who are attempting to infest a primitive species called humans. With considerable difficulty, I have come to live amongst these humans, and my fellow guerrillas have become my battle brethren. Humans are an exceedingly interesting species, and in the course of fighting the yeerks, I have found a human I consider to be my _shorm_. He is the son of my brother, born a human, now a _nothlit_ trapped in the body of an earth bird, but he doesn't seem to mind much. It almost reminds me of my own grandfather, who mistakenly fell asleep as a _chadoo_ bird, much to grandmother's fury. 

<Hey Ax, it's almost movie time,> Tobias called, though I already knew exactly what time it was. 

<Marco has told me that starting an event exactly on-time was a mere loose suggestion, and also, decidedly _uncool,_ > I commented from inside my scoop, doing my best to approximate Marco's emphasis in thought-speak. I do not think I did a good job, but Tobias chuckled. Despite my joke, I don't understand why Marco would say such a thing. These humans seem incapable of keeping to a simple schedule. One wonders how they have gotten so far with so little regard for punctuality! Tobias is the only one who I can expect to be prompt. He certainly gets that from his father's side of the family. 

<That's not everyone, you know, just lazy wads like Marco,> Tobias said mirthfully. <Some of us have no problem being somewhere on time,> he sniffed, swooping into the open window of my scoop before alighting on the especially-comfortable tree branch he had insisted become the Tobias Inside Perch. 

<Certainly, you are more familiar in this respect,> I said, keeping an eye stalk on him as I rose to retrieve the movie from my shelf. Tobias is an oddity. He is a nothlit, but dislikes being grouped with his original species, almost as if being human bothers him. He enjoys flying too much, I think. I am disheartened that human children aren't afforded the opportunity to become fighter pilots like Andalite adolescents are. Maybe his misfortune could have been avoided, if that were the case. 

<You just wanted to wait to start for Marco, didn't you?> Tobias asked accusingly. My eye-stalks twitched in annoyance. If there was any human able to pick up on Andalite body language, it would be Tobias. Still, my shorm could be frigid sometimes. 

<Andalite warrior philosophy condemns leaving a fellow warrior behind,> I replied doing my best to keep my expression, eye-stalks and all, casual. 

<You don't wait for anyone else, you know. Rachel still doesn't know what happens in the first fifteen minutes of Pulp Fiction, because you started without her,> Tobias contended. <And that's the best part.>

<Next time I won't,> I said dismissively. Even when he was without his hawk's eyes, Tobias was good at noticing things I didn't want him to notice. 

<Yeah, yeah,> Tobias sighed, aware I was brushing the topic off, and fluttered his wings a bit. <What movie did you get, anyway?>

It had been my turn to procure the tape-based video file for us to watch together. I had morphed into my human form and braved the confounding rules and regulations of human society, and acquired a cassette tape from a building known as Blockbuster Video. Years ago, I had been surprised when I had gone there with Prince Jake, as the city block it is on does not seem to have ever been damaged, but he had assured me the block need not be "busted" to host a video file rental service. Since then, it had become a weekly ritual to host a movie viewing in my scoop. Over time, though, Prince Jake, Cassie, and even Rachel had abandoned the tradition in favor of college entrance preparations, leaving just Marco, Tobias, and myself to enjoy time together. I had tried to pick something that would entertain both Tobias and Marco, so I had followed the massive 'Now on Video!' signs for an intriguing looking film that had apparently broken all the records last year. 

<It is a film about a failure of human engineering, wherein an aquatic surface vessel collides with--> I began to explain. 

<Oh my God, you got _Titanic,_ > Tobias cried as I showed him the box. <You know every human alive has seen this movie a million times, right?>

His tone suggested he would have dipped an eye stalk in exasperation, but it is hard to tell with humans, especially nothlits. But he is my shorm, and I know how to rile him. 

<Certainly no human has enough time to watch a film a _million_ times,> I scoffed, trying not to let him see the withheld glee in my eyes. 

<A bunch of times, Ax,> Tobias clarified, sounding defeated. He wasn't actually annoyed. Nor do I make mistakes very often about human idioms any more. I now know not to take everything so literally. Or cryptically. Humans bounce from one extreme or the other, and it is hard to know which is which, sometimes, but I can interpret their meaning with passable accuracy. I expect Elfangor was better at acting human than I am. Regardless, Tobias can be counted upon to make more sense to me than any other human. That is why he is my shorm. 

<I do think you made a good choice, though,> he soothed. We sat in comfortable silence for a few human minutes, until Tobias gave a gentle <He's here,> to alert me that Marco had arrived. 

"Wasssssuuuuuuuup?" he called, imitating one of my favorite running gags on These Messages. My stalk eyes widened and focused on Tobias, who had at first been proud I made a human joke that 'didn't totally suck.'

<Wasssssaaaaaaaaaaaaap?> I called back, merrily partaking in the ritual. 

"Waaaasssssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh?" he prompted, sticking his head in the door. We met each other in the middle of the floor and stood facing each other, contorting our faces and waving our torsos around, issuing a synchronous "<WAAAAZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP?>" just like the humans from These Messages. 

Our six eyes fell on Tobias, who took a few moments of our scornful stares to raise his wings and give a disinterested <Waaaaatever,> with a weak "Tseer" to accompany it. <Come on, guys, I hate those commercials.>

<Hello Marco,> I said, shutting the door behind me with my tail blade and gesturing with my eyes talks for him to sit on the couch. He, of course, knows what my gesture means because I am an excellent teacher of Andalite culture and expressions. The humans used to think I had no sense of humor until they realized I we use our eyes. I may be a good teacher, but Marco is even better. I spend most of my time with Tobias, but I have learned more about Humanity from Marco than anyone else. 

<Yo,> Tobias said, a little more welcoming than before. 

"So for real, _waah_ is _zaahp?_ How go things with the Scoop Troop?" Marco asked amiably. 

<I'm adequate,> I said. Tobias gave a noncommittal wing-flap. 

"Alllllright," he said, like a newscaster recovering from a blooper. Marco has shown me many bloopers, but I am still unclear as to what a bloop is. 

<Are you disappointed by our lack of enthusiasm?> I asked, fearing my response had hurt him in some way. Humans are very emotionally fragile, our guerilla group especially. They are not trained for the horrors of combat, and have proven less able than myself to deal with it. Still, I find myself falling victim to combat fatigue and recurring dreams about our only marginally-successful campaign against the yeerks. This stress is why we do things like watch human movies together. 

"No way, Ax-man, just wasn't expecting Tobias to be as morose as usual," Marco said with a grin. "Guess I'll have to have enough fun for the both of us."

<Yes, your presence greatly intensifies the normal amount of enjoyment I experience when doing things alone,> I said honestly; Tobias groaned. Marco turned to him, cocking an eyebrow. 

<Of all the movies, he got _Titanic_ ,> Tobias complained, as if it explained his prickliness. 

"As if _you_ haven't seen _Titanic_ a million times!" Marco cried accusingly. Humans have difficult facial expressions to parse, given they lack stalk eyes and emote far too much with their mouths, but even _I_ was reasonably certain I could see Tobias scowling through his hawk morph. 

<You just like it for _Leo_ ,> Tobias hissed at Marco. 

"And you should be able to enjoy Kate Winslet," Marco responded without missing a beat. "Or does she make you _jealous_?"

I have seen Tobias chased by taxxons, hork-bajir, and Visser 3 in a variety of morphs, but I have never seen him fly away from somewhere faster than I saw him leave my scoop. He shot off the Tobias Inside Perch like one of the humans' chemical rockets, flapping hard out the window. I was stunned, and was only able to call out to him once he had left. I called out his name, but got no answer. 

<What did you say to upset him?> I demanded of Marco. Fond of Marco though I am, I have a duty to protect the shorm whom I trust. 

"Relax, it's just a dumb joke. I was really more making fun of Rachel," Marco explained. "You know, like him being jealous of the guy who gets to be with the pretty girl." 

I didn't understand much better, and had the feeling I was being steered away from the actual answer. I decided to save the matter for later investigation, perhaps just discussing it with Tobias himself. His moods are hard to read sometimes. I have found it is best to let him calm down, and that if he wants to talk that he will come to me, but Marco has explained that sometimes an intervention is the best help someone never knew they needed. I know from experience that would only upset Tobias further. 

Marco and I enjoyed the movie ourselves. I left the window open, and called out to Tobias in private thoughtspeak during the film, but I never received an answer. I know him well enough to know that he would return the next morning, or if he was in a gossiping mood, as soon as Marco left. 

The movie was long, and Marco had to explain many human cultural artifacts to me. For all its sheer inefficiency, the human transport ship in the movie had a lovely aesthetic, something that likely wouldn't be poorly received in the Andalite art community. I was halfway through my imagined fantasy of my personal Titanic as a pleasure yacht on Andal --only someone rich could spend on something so inefficient and gaudy -- when a telltale crinkle in Marco's pocket alerted me to the pinnacle of human creations: candy. Marco produced a few polychromatic sugar bricks, known as jolly ranchers, from his pocket, and I morphed human to enjoy them. I often get the feeling that I enjoy morphing human more than Tobias does. I sincerely hope he is not a voluntary nothlit, but I have begun to wonder. 

We arrived at a scene in the movie where the two main humans have found their way into a romance, like many movies, and were making their way into the cargo hold of the ship in their lovestruck revelry. Marco explained the situation. 

"So, see, they're gonna go in the old car and make out. You know, uh… _mate,_ " he explained with an awkward hand-wave. I felt bad for him. Broaching _that_ topic is supremely embarrassing to humans. 

"What is it like for humans?" I asked, half expecting him to shut me down like he always did whenever I ask the group a question they'd rather not answer, but he didn't. Marco looked shocked and scooted away from me on couch. I tried not to look hurt by that as I continued: "I understand reproductive (mmm-) mechanics from reading the encyclopedia, but what are the feelings associated with love (uv) like?" 

"Wow, uh… You really wanna go there, Ax-man?" Marco asked, pausing the movie on a still frame of a hand pressed up against fogged glass. "Emotions and stuff? You know I'm the least mature of us, right? I'm Beavis, Butthead, and Bart Simpson rolled into one."

I recognized the names as cartoon characters, but I did not see how they applied to the situation. 

"I trust you with (thwthwthw) all my human questions," I pointed out. In the past, we have discussed murdering a failed seventh Animorph, instead leaving him to a miserable existence as a prey-animal nothlit, we have seriously discussed suicide missions; I felt like we could at least talk about something as mundane as affection. Marco sighed, a sign he was steeling himself to push past his personality. 

"In human morph, you don't feel anything for anyone? No seeing a pretty girl walking down the street and your body just responding on its own?" he asked delicately. 

"Not that I'm aware of. How could I feel romantically (roam) towards them if I don't have a speaking relationship with them?" I asked. 

"So you would only want to date someone, is if you already know them?" Marco asked. 

"Andalites value personality and intelligence before physical factors," I confirmed. 

"That sucks, dude," Marco sighed, carding a hand through his hair. "There are like five people on this whole planet who are allowed to know you exist, and four of them are taken." 

"Is physical attraction required for romance?" I queried. 

Marco's skin, normally the color of wet sand, flushed a deep terra cotta and refused to meet my (annoyingly singular pair of) eyes. 

"That's--you're… No, I'm putting the kaibosh on this whole topic right now, nope!" he said, wiping sweat from his forehead. Why would he get so shaken by the question? Unless… He thought… 

Oh. 

He thought I was implying--

"I was just curious, we shouldn't pursue this topic any further, you're uncomfortable," I said sheepishly, attempting to cram the misunderstanding into the eighty-four lightyears that separate Earth and Andal, just another 'wacky Ax moment,' as Marco called them. Normally, I resented the infantilization, but in this case I was thankful to have a prefabricated excuse to supply. "I was not thinking of anyone specific."

"It's okay, man. I'd probably try to grab an Andalite date if I was stuck on _your_ planet for too long, too," Marco offered awkwardly. I was grateful he understood my curiosity. "But if you want to know what liking someone is all about for us, why not ask one of us that's actually, you know, in a relationship?" 

I turned away, cursing my lack of stalk eyes to watch his facial expressions. 

"It would be very rude of me to ask Prince Jake or Cassie, I feel. Rachel would tear my eyes off, and Tobias is singularly ill-equipped to discuss emotions," I answered honestly. It was true. I was trying to understand human emotional reactions, not invade my prince or shorm's privacy. Marco seemed to understand. 

"It's really too bad you can't get to know anyone else without being in danger," Marco said. "People don't usually go on dates with randos, even friend-dates."

My ears perked up. "Friend (fffff-uh-rend) dates?" I asked, turning back around. 

"Yeah, you know, dates where it's just friends. Something with no real expectations, just two people hanging out together trying to have fun, just with more casual contact," Marco explained. The concept was alien to me; it sounded just like spending time with a friend as one would normally, even how an Andalite and his shorm would interact, and I said as much. Marco corrected me. 

"It's more than just friends hanging out, it's kinda like a 'maybe-this-can-turn-into-more' sort of deal," Marco said. "Mostly it's just a regular date without the implied sexual tension."

"Marco, we are friends, are we not?" I asked delighted. Learning this aspect of human culture without any of the awkward implications was infinitely more amenable to me. Marco's expression turned from awkwardness to shock, then to horror. 

"No, come on, Ax-man, don't do that to me," he murmured, but just as the main male from Titanic was persistent, so too was I. 

"Why not? I am not sexually attracted to you, and we are friends. I don't envision a romantic relationship with you, but we have fun when we are together, and I have no expectations," I laid out my case logically. "That seems to satisfy the conditions you described for a 'friend-date'."

Marco seemed to consider these points for a moment, but shook himself back into a more determined look. 

"You usually have to know someone for a long time for a friend-date to be a thing," Marco protested weakly. 

"Is three of your years not long enough relative to our lifespans?" I asked. Marco's eyebrows slowly rose. 

"Have we really known each other for three years?" he asked, genuinely surprised. I could sympathize. Fighting for our lives on a weekly basis in a guerilla war we had no hope of winning does seem to skew one's perception of time. Even for an andalite. 

"Long enough that you have stopped telling me that they are my years as well," I pointed out. He seemed a little taken aback by that. 

"Wouldn't it kinda throw off the group dynamic, if we were…" he trailed off. 

"I do not want to form a romantic relationship," I grinned. "Remember? No expectations."

Marco slowly brought a hand to his forehead, running it back through his hair. 

"I honestly can't think of a reason not to, it's just hanging out, right?" he said, rationalizing it to himself. My grin grew wider, exposing my multipurpose human teeth. 

"Excellent! I'll go ask Prince Jake for permission," I said happily, hopping up from the couch and making towards the door. 

"Wait, Ax, _what!?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Tobias hates the BudWeiser commercials because he was raised by a series of abusive and neglectful alcoholics.


	2. Marco I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy. Marco has to explain some things he really, *really* doesn't want to explain.
> 
> Tw: homophobia

"Is this important?" Jake asked in a serious tone, searching my face for any sign of worry or stress. That was our go-to 'is this yeerk stuff' code. I shook my head, and he visibly relaxed, but not for long. 

"What are you doing here at 7pm on a Wednesday?" Jake asked incredulously. "And why is Ax here?" I almost felt bad for the bombshell I was about to drop on him. I gave him my best totally-done-with-this face and told him. 

"Ax asked me out on a date and he needs your permission," I said with the straightest of faces. Jake's eyes went wide. 

"Yeah, this is as weird for me as it is for you, man," I explained. Jake gave me a huge you-owe-me look and did the good leader thing and bit the bullet. Glancing around, he beckoned Ax to stop playing with his mailbox, and instead follow them both inside. 

"You're lucky Tom's away on a 'Sharing Field Trip'," Jake spat. He always gets kinda touchy about his controller older brother. 

"Hey Ax?" Jake said when they reached the top of the steps. 

"Yes, Pr- yes?" Ax replied, nearly replying with his andalite title for our dear leader. Even with no controllers around, it wasn't a good idea to be heard using alienisms. Ax's stubbornness on calling Jake his Prince and constantly reminding us that he's not using 'our minutes' makes us wonder if it's just a quirk, or if it's some kind of pathology. Either way, 'Prince Jake' is forever etched into my mind's ear. 

"Marco and I need to discuss something in private for a sec, you can chill in my room for a minute, right?" he asked. Ax responded with a simple thumbs-up, one of the first gestures I taught him. It had taken a few tries for him to use the correct finger at first, but he'd figured it out since. Jake lightly closed the door behind Ax, who was looking suspicious, but had little practice emoting with a mouth. Jake turned slowly, and started asking me questions. 

"What the hell, Marco, how did this happen?" Jake hissed, getting in closer than I was comfortable with. 

"Chill out, Joe McCarthy, he owns a television. He got it into his head on his own," I said reassuringly. Jake still looked relatively ticked. 

"On his own?" Jake repeated coldly. 

"On his own," I confirmed, crossing my heart. "He rented Titanic for movie night, and now he's dying for romance."

Jake's eyebrows rose at the stealth pun, but quickly went back down to the knitted scowl he wore. 

"Look, I talked him down to just going to the movies as friends, but there is some kind of tradition where they have to get approval from their superior officer," I said. "And I couldn't talk him out of that part."

"You want my help convincing him it's not a good idea, right?" he asked suspiciously. 

"Well…" I quibbled. "He's kinda got his heart set on it."

"Why didn't you say no?" Jake asked flatly. 

"I couldn't think of a reason not to, man. I mean, have you seen how cute his human morph is?" I said in a half-joking tone, hoping to defuse the tension with humor. Apparently, I had cut the wrong wire, and it blew up in my face. 

Jake just looked at me, his expression telling. He was somewhere between confusion and disgust, but I could still see the cogs turning to work on handling this. I'm not going to lie, the disgust hurt. Even through my ladies' man charade, I pretty sure he was at least vaguely aware I liked boys, and Tobias definitely knew, but this sort of situation was just shining light on something I try to keep buried. It was something unspoken, talking about it made it real. You just don't bring that sort of thing out in the open. Look, the Cold War may be over, but society isn't quite there yet. 

Jake gently knocked on his bedroom door, and said quietly to me: "Next we're gonna talk about why Rachel wants to destroy you. Something with Tobias."

Tobias is such a baby sometimes. I knew he was awkward and emo back when he went to our school, but even this was a pretty big overreaction. He and Rachel were kinda touchy about being together, but I figured after two whole years he would have calmed down about it. Insinuating he would be jealous of having a Hollywood actress as a girlfriend must have agitated that. 

"Whaaaaat!?" I cried defensively. "I didn't even say anything insulting!" 

"Yeah, but you know he got bullied a--," Jake spat quickly. 

"Yes, Pr- Jake?" Ax asked, opening the door. "Puh-rinse," he added quietly. 

"We really need to talk about Earth stuff, Ax-man," Jake said soberly, closing the door and sitting down Indian-style in front of Ax, who struggled to fold his legs, but managed to mirror Jake. 

"Oh yes," Ax said cheerily as I flopped down on Jake's bed. "I am aware that this isn't a human tradition, but having your approval would comfort me." 

Normally I'd laugh, but it had gone beyond "wacky Ax is wacky, more at 11." I felt a shade of sympathy for Tobias; talking about this was uncomfortable territory for me, and clearly for Jake, too. Maybe it's just a teenager thing. 

"Yeah…. Ax… uh… I hate to tell you this, but humans don't usually, uhhh…. Date the same sex," Jake stammered as authoritatively as he could. "It's just not normal."

My eyes widened at that. I expected confusion and a 'whatever,' but I was getting called out. Was that part of my punishment for what I said to bird boy (which still isn't a big deal!)? Ax is a flipping alien, and Jake wants to use terrestrial politics against him?

"Oh, I see," Ax said, nodding, but ultimately undeterred. 

"Yeah, no, actually, I'm superseding that one," I said, making sure Ax was looking at me. "Same-sex couples exist. The real barrier here would be that you're an alien," I explained, glaring at Jake.

"If it's an issue, can't you simply morph into a human female for the date?" Ax asked folding the book in his lap and regaining his composure, doing the Andalite eye-smile thing he does. It's kinda cute on a human, but I was not in the mood. I smacked my forehead, and Jake lay back on the floor, burying his hands in his hair while looking at the ceiling and exhaling slowly. 

"Dude, what? I'm a guy, no way!" I said, uncomfortable at the idea. "A date would be fine, but I'd like to be me while on it."

"Are you not curious about what it is like as the other sex?" Ax asked innocently. "Tobias ponders it from time to time. I assumed this curiosity was normal for humans."

"N-no, that's probably just a Tobias thing," Jake said shakily as he sat back up. "He's always been kind of weird."

"Oh," Ax said, his eyes falling to his lap. 

I'd never hung around with Tobias much before the whole Animorphs thing got going. He was Jake's pet project, not mine. Don't get me wrong, but I've never gotten super friendly vibes from Tobias, even though I'm the one person Everyone-with-a-capital-E is friends with. Except Yeerks. And Crayak; still working on him, but he'll come around eventually. I could charm a snake from its skin, or an Andalite from his dry spell, apparently. Still, Tobias is pleasant enough with everyone, but still seems distant and withdrawn at times. 

"I have to say no, Ax, I'm sorry. Humans don't work like that, and that's something you shouldn't bring up again if you don't want to make us uncomfortable," Jake said, doing his best to maintain a diplomatic, stoic-leader tone. "We have to think about group cohesion."

Normally it's something I try to keep buried, or at least subtle, but seeing Ax sitting there looking like he was about to cry while getting a tongue lashing from someone he held in high esteem had pushed me close to the edge, and the flimsy group-cohesion comment pushed me over it. 

"Group-cohesion?" I balked. "You and Cassie…! Not to mention Tobias and Rachel…! You know what? Fuck you, 'Prince Jake'," I spat, my lip curling in disgust as I rose from the bed. I don't like getting upset. It detracts from my cuteness, you see, but at that moment I felt like I was channeling Rachel. 

"What? Dude, don't--" Jake began to protest, but I didn't want to hear it. 

"It just makes _you_ uncomfortable! Come on Ax, we're gonna go on a date," I said pointedly, pulling Ax into a standing position. "Not a friend-date, a real one, just to piss him off."

Ax looked between Jake and I, unsure of what to do, so I practically had to drag him out of Jake's room and down the stairs. 

"See you at school," I called gruffly to Jake as I slammed the front door behind me. He was still my friend, but I was ticked at him. More than ticked, now; I was pissed. Royally pissed. Imperially pissed, even. 

"I can't, Marco, he said no!" Ax protested as I marched back towards the bus stop. "Even if we don't like it we don't know--" 

I wheeled around on him, looking angrier than I probably should have. He got very quiet. 

"You said you wanted to learn how human romance works, right? We date people, even marry people just to piss other people off or make them jealous," I explained. "Telling Jake to shove it is the most human thing we can do. Like giving the finger to Montagues and Capulets."

Ax didn't seem convinced, but followed me the rest of the way to the bus stop. We sat on the plastic bench in silence for a few minutes. My breathing steadied and I dropped from pissed back to just ticked. Ax seemed uncomfortable, and I could tell he was already regretting the whole debacle. It would be better, easier, and probably healthier if we dropped the idea. But then when the bus arrived, I realized I was too worked up to sit in a sardine can with a bunch of smelly San José natives. 

"I think I'm gonna walk home, man; I'll pick you up at 6:00 on Friday," I said as Ax claimed the steps onto the bus. 

"I will expect you no sooner than 6:15," Ax said in an even tone, the slightest hint of a smile playing at the edge of his lips. For a moment, I forgot my bad mood and felt a rush of fondness for the guy. Even if he wasn't really someone I was interested in romantically, Ax was a pretty good friend. 

As the bus pulled away, I resignedly made my way down the street, the logical part of my mind trying to dissect the day. I had originally wanted to spend the walk just being angry at Jake to get it over with, but Ax's parting comment had nudged me out of ticked off and into merely cheesed off territory. I don't stay mad for long, and I've never been one to hold a grudge. That's not true for everyone, though. 

<Hey,> Tobias said pointedly, gliding down and landing on a nearby telephone pole. Smooth flying, for someone with such poor night vision. 

"Oh great, it's the other one," I muttered, aware he could hear me even from 30 yards away. He could hear a field mouse breathing on a windy day, hearing a loud Puerto Rican kid was definitely not a challenge for him. "Go away, I'm dealing with my own problems."

<I'm aware,> Tobias said dryly. <Ax filled me in.>

"Of course you'd be stalking us," I muttered. I didn't stop walking, and Tobias flit to the next telephone pole to follow. 

<Jake was wrong to say what he said,> Tobias offered. 

I was taken a little aback by that, but kept walking. "You gonna say anything to him? Tell him to shove it?" 

<No,> he admitted. 

"Then why should I care what you think?" I replied. He was quiet for a while before he spoke again. 

<Ax is very excited, you know,> he told me. 

"Make sure he doesn't get any ideas," I muttered, kicking a small chunk of concrete down the sidewalk. "This really isn't any different than hanging out normally."

<I may have overheard you saying that isn't the case,> Tobias said slyly. I glared up at him, flustered. Everyone was on my case today, and I didn't like it. 

"What, you want us to hold hands in public or something? He's a… I can't say it out loud, but he one of those, Tobias!" I cried, exasperated that everyone seemed to be focused on Ax also being a guy instead of the fact that he was an alien. "Besides, it's not like you see two dudes together ever. Not in real life, and not on TV."

<Well, Will and Grace, for one,> he pointed out. <And you'd be surprised what I see while flying. They're hiding, but they're there.>

"Will and Grace is Frasier but worse," I grumbled. Tobias didn't say anything for a while, just hopping from pole to pole, redirecting me to another street when he noticed some gangbangers a mile up the road. 

It wasn't like Tobias to follow me around like that, even if he was acting as my spotter. I could tell he wanted to talk about something, but he was too bashful. I didn't much care. Once he had followed me all the way to my house like a weird guardian angel, he must have decided that it was then or never. 

<Look, about why I left Ax's scoop before…> he began. 

"I'm sorry, man," I said as I passed through our chain link fence gate. Jake was right about one thibg, Tobias always had been a little weird. Why should I expect that to stop just because he wears feathers and eats rodents? It probably doesn't help that his main source of socialization is an alien who looks Urkel look normal. But, because Captain Planet apparently chose me for the power of Heart, I figured I'd smooth the situation over. "I get it. I won't reference you and Rachel again."

That is how you maintain group cohesion. Apologizing when you didn't do anything wrong, just so everything can go back to normal. The hawk looking down at me from the telephone pole cocked its head slightly. 

<Wait, what? What are you talking about?> Tobias said again, his voice kind of shaky, something I didn't know could happen in thoughtspeak. 

"Wasn't that why you flew off?" 

<Uhhh…. Yes,> he stammered, leaving me utterly unconvinced. My curiosity piqued, I stared at him skeptically, waiting for the explanation he had no doubt come to give. 

<I… I just thought you were making fun of me for something I used to get made of for,> he said slowly, deliberately. 

"What, thinking a hot chick is hot?" I asked incredulously. "Or wanting to date one?" Now it was his turn to be silent. I stood there for a moment, searching for any other way my words could have been interpreted. I had accused him of being jealous of having a pretty lady like that, mostly as a potshot at Rachel, who never really minded being the target of teasing, mostly because she could kick everyone's ass. I wracked my brain, but I could only come up with one other way he could have taken it, that he was jealous of being her, not of having her. I considered it for a moment, and the idea gained traction the more I thought about it, like puzzle pieces falling into place. I looked up at him in disbelief. 

"I think I know what you thought I meant," I said delicately. 

<It's, uh-->

"Ax said you think about being a girl a lot," I told him, wearily resting my chin on my arms on the fence as I looked up at Tobias, who was still perched.

<Oh, wait, I'm not, uh,-- > he stammered, feathers puffing up and wings unfolding. <I don't think you-- >

"It was on purpose, wasn't it?" I asked softly. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but it would be the clincher if it was true. "When you got stuck, you did it on purpose."

<Hawks can't feel, Marco,> he said, defeated. <Not like humans do. Not like I did.>

I was stunned. I admit, it was weird. Very weird. But I've seen the minds of dozens of animals, and I never once felt conscious of my human body while morphed. If being a guy bugged him so much it would make sense he would want to get away from it. 

"So you're a tranny, huh?" I summarized. There was a long silence, and I could tell he wanted to fly away. To his credit, he didn't. 

<I guess,> he said, resignation and shame clear even through thoughtspeak. I picked my chin back up, and cringed. 

"So I'm guessing Rachel knows?" I deduced. 

<Yeah,> he said quietly. <Don't tell anyone. Especially not Jake.>

"Pretty sure Jake already has an idea," I admitted. "I'm not really surprised. So what does that make you, a girl trapped in boy's body trapped in a hawk?"

<Pretty much,> he confirmed, sounding dejected. <I've always been a freak, one way or another.>

"You're like one of those Russian dolls, with all the smaller ones inside," I said, making a lame joke to cope. "We're all freaks."

<Not like me,> he pointed out. 

"No, but still freaks. I mean, I have a date with a space alien, for Pete's sake," I pointed out. "It's just one more freak-point on top of the rest."

<I'm sorry,> he said. <I should have kept it to myself. >

It wasn't like he had just told me out of the blue, but I agreed. I wasn't going to alienate him, but I wasn't going to pretend it wasn't a big deal. 

"So….." I trailed off. "What now?" 

<I don't know,> Tobias admitted. <Gang up on Jake since we have him outnumbered now?>

It took me a second to get it, but I chuckled despite myself. 

"How about we just go back to how things used to be?" I suggested. He was nervous and uncomfortable, and so was I. It's not every day you find out one of only six people you can trust is weirder than Michael Jackson. It's one thing to like guys, but wanting to change who you are is foreign to me. 

<No,> he said firmly. <I mean… No. That's what every relative I ever mentioned it to did. I don't want to go back to that.>

"You're still going to fight them, right? You're still part of the team?" I asked, in reference to the yeerks. 

<Why wouldn't I still fight? That's part of me, too,> Tobias said, sounding a little offended. <And frankly, the soldier part of me way more important than the girl part of me, for now at least.>

"Then that's all that matters," I said, content in the knowledge he wasn't going to leave us to get stuck in a female morph and disappear forever. However weird he might be, at least he wasn't selfish. 

<Yup,> he agreed. <That's all that matters.>


	3. Ax II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andalites see themselves as the superior culture. Maybe, sometimes, they actually right.

I admit, I was very uncomfortable, going against the wishes of my Prince. Marco assured me that this was quite normal for humans, but I am an andalite. I wasn't sure that indulging my curiosity was worth invoking the ire of my superior officer. I wondered what my brother would think. 

I had borrowed some books from the local library on the subject of human romantic relations. I had asked specifically for literature on dating another male, and the librarian had shriveled and judgmentally pointed me towards a very small section of books from the section called 'LGBT.' All of the dates of publication were from the last few human years, so it was clear this was new territory for humans. I learned a lot about their views. To think that merely expressing such feelings was against the law in most places struck me as a cultural artifact that made no sense. 

The same variations exist in Andalite biology, and male warrior couples are seen as honorable and natural, one of the purest expressions of love two Andalites can feel for each other. We had once felt the way humans did, but a modern War-Prince would be delighted to have two pilots working in perfect unison, linked by a more powerful telepathic link than normal thoughtspeak. It simply increased battlefield effectiveness. The same can be said of scientists, who are predominantly female, with their relationships. Two researchers united by a common goal, niche knowledge, and a desire to impress each other was nothing to discourage. I am not one of these Andalites, though. I have always preferred females, and probably always will, but I certainly don't harbor any resentment towards those who do not. 

Still, I was excited for a friend-date with Marco. At least I assumed that was what was happening. He had said he would upgrade it to a real date, but I doubt either of us wanted that. Physically mixing with the locals while in morph was a popular shore-leave activity, but having a serious relationship with anything other than an andalite was highly frowned upon. I already knew what my brother thought of  _ that _ social convention. 

Tobias fluttered in the open window, giving me a welcome reprieve. I closed the book I was reading and greeted him. 

<Good morning, Tobias,> I welcomed him. 

<Morning Ax,> he replied. 

<You sound tired,> I observed. He hopped up from the ground onto the Tobias Inside Perch and sighed over thoughtspeak. 

<Yeah, I was up pretty late. Hawks have a bedtime, but my human brain wouldn't shut up,> he said. <I couldn't fall asleep until dawn, and by then I was already hungry.>

<I spent many nights like that at the academy,> I confided. It was true. Sometimes getting up to mischief with my classmates past curfew was just too tempting. <Still, you should sleep.>

<Hawkbrain says it's daytime. I'm probably just going to stay up,> he said, apparently resigned to fatigue. 

<You could morph human and take a nap,> I offered. <I'll wake you up after an hour and a half.>

<I'm tempted,> he replied, considering the offer. <But I really just need to reset my body clock.>

I nodded. I care for his wellbeing, but I had made the same choice myself a few times. I had to force myself to stop when a classmate glued my stalk eyes to the back of my head when I fell asleep in class. It had taken  _ days _ for the stiffness to go away. 

<What are you reading?> he asked, looking over the stack of books on the couch. 

<I've been researching a topic humans call 'Legbutt' in preparation for my date,> I replied. <It seems to work much the same way as with couples on television.>

<'Legbutt,' what are you-- oh, it's pronounced 'L-G-B-T',> he corrected, sounding amused once I showed him one of the covers. Humans are so inconsistent with their acronyms! Some of them are pronounced they way the are spelled, others are simply letters. It makes little sense. Still, it sounded like it would be fun to say with a mouth. Eljibiti. El jeeby tea. I would just have to try it out next time I morphed human. 

<Prince Jake said that same-sex relations are abnormal for humans, but these books contradict that,> I observed. <He probably just hasn't seen this most recent data.>

<I wouldn't call it  _ normal _ , but it's definitely not something you can help,> Tobias said, shifting from one foot to the other. <Otherwise why would people do it?>

<It's the same way with Andalites,> I agreed. <Probably just a quirk of being DNA-based,> I speculated. That got his attention. 

<There are gay Andalites?> he asked, surprised. 

<Many,> I confirmed. <As well as those who have no preference.>

<How are they treated?> he asked, sounding more hopeful than curious. I felt bad that humans had to endure discrimination, but it wasn't an issue that affected Tobias directly, so his curiosity was a surprise. 

<Generally we don't find any medical intervention necessary,> I explained. 

<No, I mean, how does society see them?> he clarified. 

<Better than this,> I said, gesturing to the book. <It's not something we give much thought to.>

<Sounds nice,> he replied, a hint of bitterness in his voice that anyone but his  _ shorm _ would have missed. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. 

<Why do you sound envious? You and Rachel are in a relationship, are you not? That seems to be well within what humans consider normal,> I posited. <Apart from being a  _ nothlit _ ,> I added for good measure. 

Tobias studied me intently for a moment, but said nothing. 

<If you have a preference for other males, it would change nothing between us,> I affirmed, fairly certain I knew where this was headed. <You are, and always will be, my shorm.>

Tobias looked away for a moment, then back to me, but he didn't meet my gaze. There were few barriers between us, and we had discussed everything under Earth's sun. He was the only one of the group to seem curious about Andalite society, and regularly delivered polemics to me against certain aspects of human society, most of which I agreed with. Why he would be nervous about our society's superior attitudes on sexuality baffled me. 

<I like girls, Ax,> he managed with some difficulty. My stalk eyes were narrowed, but I decided it was better not to press the point. Tobias could be delicate sometimes. He didn't have a good fawnhood, and he was still uncomfortable around the smell of alcohol. If there was one criticism I could muster against Elfangor, it would be that he abandoned his son to be raised by the dregs of human society. 

<I know,> I said, forcing a smile to comfort him. 

After a few moments of awkward silence, quite different to the usual comfortable silence we enjoyed sharing, I picked up where I left off in my book, leaning over to allow Tobias to read over my shoulder. We read together for nearly an hour, one of my favorite activities to share with him. I enjoy movies, but books are a superior human invention. After finishing the section titled 'Homosexuality', we reached a section called 'Transsexualism.' Deeming this not to be of much use, I closed the book, but Tobias spoke up. 

<Why'd you stop?> he asked. 

<I'm studying these books to get a better understanding of how Marco and I should interact in a human context. As far as I'm aware, Marco is not a transsexual, so it doesn't apply,> I stated. 

<Well… Uh… maybe you should read it. To understand how… Um, I mean… it's relevant to me _ , _ > he said, his feathers ruffling up, looking around wildly. An avian panic reaction, if hawks were similar to my osprey morph. Still, I was delighted. 

<Oh, were you not born male? Thank you for telling me,> I said happily.  _ That _ must have been why he was so nervous! In andalite society that sort of thing is quickly corrected via gene therapy or voluntarily becoming a nothlit of the preferred sex and then is forgotten about, so his hesitancy made perfect sense in context given the general human stigma against deviation and lack of morphing technology. Still, I was happy my shorm could trust me with such information. 

<What? I didn't say that!> he exclaimed, gripping the Tobias Inside Perch hard enough to leave deep gouges in the wood. 

<Oh, so is Rachel--?> I started, assuming the logical alternative. 

<It's me,> he spat quickly. <I'm… ugh…  _ I'm _ one of those. I'm the one that's sick in the head. 'Cuz I hate being male.>

<Why haven't you corrected the desync then?> I asked. If Tobias had been born male, certainly nothing had been done about it yet, judging from his human morph.

<What, you mean like shocking me until I'm not this way anymore?> he asked skeptically. 

<No, why did you allow yourself to continue being male,> I asked, a little hurt he hadn't told me before. It was one thing to express curiosity about physical differences, and much the same to hide that one had undergone gene therapy at a young age so as not to draw attention (the old-fashioned method for those who wanted to retain the ability to morph), but very different to hide who he, or she, was for so long. 

<You should probably read the book, Ax,> Tobias said, and wouldn't answer any of my questions thereafter, so I did. To my horror, humans didn't find it an important issue, or even something that existed medically, treating it as a mental disorder. There was an even greater taboo associated with brain-body-desync than with homosexuality. Changing one's sex with human technology seemed far less elegant and complete than with  _ real _ technology, and was stigmatized to the point where even trying often ruined a person's life and relegated them to the fringes of society. 

<This… This is not how it should be,> I murmured. 

<Yeah,> Tobias agreed weakly. It seemed like having any strong convictions on the subject was shameful to him - or her. <So that's why I'll ask you not to tell anyone else. Rachel and Marco know, but I can tell they don't want to talk about it.>

<You have my word,> I said, bringing my tail blade to my throat as a sign of commitment to the promise. <Thank you for trusting me.>

<Thanks, Ax,> he sighed, but I could tell he didn't feel any better. 

<You have the power to morph,> I pointed out. <That is a unique position for a human.>

<Yeah, but… I was never much good at being human anyway,> he sighed, preening his feathers back down as if to drive the point home. <Why would looking how I want change anything? I'm still the same weirdo upstairs.>

<My scoop does not have a second floor,> I pointed out. Tobias gave a strained laugh. 

<What I mean is… I don't really see much changing, no matter if I was a boy or a girl. People have always hated me, so it doesn't matter,> he sulked. 

<Shall we try?> I suggested. Tobias's head shot up from under his wing, and all the work he had done to unruffle his feathers was undone.

<What?> he croaked. 

<Why not try? Even if you don't like it, you have wondered many times what it would be like. You can answer the question for yourself, at least,> I explained. 

<But I won't be a real girl. Just like I'm not a real hawk. I'm just going to be some disgusting, degenerate, fake piece of-- > he rambled, spiraling further into self-pity. 

<I advise you not to speak ill of my mother in such a way,> I interjected firmly. <And in case you've forgotten, she is your grandmother, as well.>

<What?> he squawked.

<My mother--your grandmother--suffered from brain-body desync as a child,> I confided. 

<She's… like me?> he asked in awe. 

<Yes. She has always been envious of the ability to morph since she sacrificed it when she was young, but she says Elfangor and I were well worth it,> I said, genuinely sad that Human social attitudes had brought him so low I had to betray my own mother's trust in order to console him. <You, by extension, are a result of her decision to correct that desync.>

Tobias was silent, and I knew he was processing the information. After a few moments, I probed gently at the topic again. 

<So, why not try?> I asked encouragingly. 

<You really don't mind?> he prompted nervously. 

<Not at all,> I confirmed. 

<Yeah,> he sighed, defeated by logic. <I guess I can give it a shot.>

<Wonderful!> I said, popping to my hooves in excitement, inadvertently knocking the long-forgotten books onto the floor. <We shall have to find you a suitable morph.>

<Where the heck are we gonna do  _ that? _ > Tobias asked skeptically. 

<Well, an andalite would typically mix the DNA of their parents and close friends, but that isn't an option in this case. I am still curious about how dating works, so perhaps we could go somewhere where we could study courtship patterns and find suitable female humans,> I suggested. 

<The mall?> he suggested. 

<Excellent! We can consume cinnamon buns!> I said with glee. 

<Of course,> Tobias groaned, but there was a kernel of excitement behind his exasperation. 


	4. Marco II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake comes to visit Marco.

I decided to skip school the next day. I sit next to Jake in geometry, and I figured we both needed some space after the last night. I didn't get much sleep, either, thanks to Tobias jawing my ear off about everything from gender confusion to the Power Rangers. He thinks it should be illegal to call what they do 'morphing'. We decided to take it up with Warner Brothers after we beat the yeerks. 

After making a token effort, by which I mean packing my backpack and walking around the block until my dad left for work, I was finally able to catch up on some sleep. I woke up around 3pm, right around when school was supposed to let out. My dad doesn't usually get home until 5, so I was in the clear. My first instinct was to take another shower and catch up on my soaps, but I was still chewing on the events from the night before. I lost composure and accidentally upgraded to a real date with Ax. I could probably explain and bring it back down, but I'd already confused him enough. Still, I wasn't exactly looking forward to it, mostly for the bagged it carried. The dude was an alien. Like, from another planet, take-me-to-your-leader, I-eat-garbage-because-it-tastes-good kind of alien. This must be how Pocahontas felt shacking up with John Smith. 

I decided against the soaps. They probably wouldn't hold any answers for me. I went to the kitchen and poured myself some cereal, pondering where I was going to take Ax. It's not like we were going to suck face in public, so I didn't have to worry about how gay-friendly it would be, since two dudes hanging out was nothing out of the ordinary. I wanted to treat him to some food, though. You gotta see how he eats, it's kinda like if Ozzy Osborne bit the bat's head off and then swallowed the rest whole. You could put anything in front of that guy and he'd love it, so I wasn't too worried about that, either. Still, somewhere new to him. That's what made hanging out with Ax fun: his outsider's commentary. Maybe it was time to introduce him to Chinese food. Or Mexican. Literally anything besides Cinnabon and McDonald's. 

I was bored, and there was no way in hell Tobias was any mood to fly around doing recon, so I considered soaring around in osprey morph. I abandoned the notion when I heard a knock at the door. Probably just the mailman, UPS, FedEx, or something. There was a second, more insistent knock, and I groaned as I rose to answer the door. Passing the window, I could see it was Jake. My first reaction was a kneejerk; excitement that my best friend was there to hang out. Then I remembered what he'd said to Ax, and by proxy, to me, and the excitement soured. However I felt, I had to maintain my image as Mr. Cool-and-Detached, so I swallowed my pride and answered the door. 

"Is this important?" I asked, peeking through the narrow opening. 

"Kinda," Jake said. I'm going to admit, Jake looked like garbage. He didn't look like he'd slept much either, and his hair was spiky with dried sweat. I looked at him skeptically, but opened the door to let him in. Once the door was closed, he shrugged off his backpack and collapsed onto his favorite spot of my dad's overly-plush couch, and I plopped down into the chair opposite him. 

"What do you mean kinda?" I asked, harsher than I meant to. "What, the yeerks are just kinda involved?" 

Jake looked at me blankly for a second before speaking. "It's about the team dynamic."

I groaned. Not this again. 

"You don't like it, I get it. Spare me," I said dryly. Jake cringed, but sucked it up and spoke again. 

"I talked it over with the others. Cassie yelled at me today. A lot," he said. 

Shit. I had meant to keep this just among the Scoop Troop, but Jake had gone and blabbed to everyone. I guess at some point he had stopped thinking like a friend, and started thinking like a leader. When we were in public, he made a good show of horsing around like we used to, but the rest of the time he just acted like a commanding officer. Like a Prince. 

"You shouldn't have said anything," I told him. He actually chuckled. 

"That's literally the first thing she yelled at me about," he said. 

"How much did you even tell her, dude? I don't wanna be 'the weird kid who can't even find a human date,'" I pouted. 

"I kinda spilled everything. I think I did more damage than I was trying to prevent," he said. 

"Yeah, I'll say," I said sarcastically. "And? What did she have to say?" 

"It was awkward," he said, sounding small. I waited for him to continue. He hesitated, but to his credit, he collected himself and spoke. "She said that fifty years ago, she and I wouldn't have been able to be together because it was illegal. And even when it wasn't legal, it wasn't tolerated. I know she knows I think that's stupid and awful, and she said in another fifty years, it was going to be like that for… For gays and lesbians," he managed with some difficulty. 

"So what? You don't want a blemish on your record once we're in the history books?" I pressed caustically. I definitely sounded angrier than I should have, but give me a break, it's hard to break out of the habit when you're on the defensive against most of the population. 

"No, I just… I've caught some flak for dating a black girl, and I hate it. I like her, and her skin color has nothing to do with it," he explained, the pain apparent in his voice. "I'm guessing it's pretty much the same with being gay."

I was surprised, but pleasantly so. I hadn't thought about it like that, but different strokes. It wasn't a great parallel, but it was all he had to compare to. It was better than nothing. 

"Basically," I lied. 

"Is that how you saw me? Like some kind of racist?" Jake asked pleadingly. 

"Not really, just… I had always hoped you'd have my back, man," I admitted. That was what hurt the most. Not being on board with homosexuality is sort of expected to be the default for most people, but I had kind of assumed that Jake would see me as 'Marco my best buddy' first, 'Marco the gay kid' second, or ideally not at all. Maybe he always did. Maybe that was why he was here. 

He chewed that over for a minute, and then nodded. 

"I will. As long as it's not directed at me, I'm fine," he managed to say. 

"Yeah, well, that ship sailed in fourth grade, pal," I revealed. It was true, back before I knew that it was even possible to be into guys, I had envisioned kissing him. How it would feel. Wondering why I was thinking those strange things. The more I got to know him, the less those thoughts occurred, and eventually, the idea was now as repulsive as kissing a sibling. At least I assume that's how it feels, since I don't have any siblings. 

"You used to--?" he started, but I cut him off. 

"I want you to apologize to Ax," I said firmly. "We're cool, and I know this takes some getting used to, but you really destroyed him. You know how much he cares about how his prince thinks."

Jake looked stunned. I wasn't the type of guy to make him grovel and demand he explicitly apologize to me, but I was willing to demand that for Ax. Jake blew his hair off his face, his forehead wrinkling in surprise. 

"Yeah. I will," he sighed. "Next time I see him."

I nodded approvingly.

"Then we're good," I said, holding out the bro-fist. I broke out into a smile when he returned the fist bump with no hesitation. He was still my best friend, and he was going to try. That was all I could have hoped for. Jake was a fundamentally good guy, so I was never had serious worries, but it was one less thing to worry about. It was pretty far down the list of things to worry about with him, far below 'will he send us on a suicide mission' or 'will he implode in battle,' but it was still nice to cross it off the list. 

"Was that it? That was the 'kinda'?" I asked. He nodded. 

"So what now?" he asked. 

"Want some cereal?" I offered. 

We ate cereal together, talked about basketball like it was something that still mattered to us, and decided to go to the mall to check out the new video game my dad's computer magazines had been advertising. It was nice to have that slice of normalcy back. I would have to thank Cassie later. 


	5. Ax III

<This is a freaking stupid idea, dude,> Tobias complained as he lay belly-up on the grass median in the mall parking lot.

<Nonsense, this is a perfectly good way to covertly acquire DNA,> I replied, casually dipping my cinnamon bun into my Orange Julius and taking a bite. Tobias said doing so was disgusting, but it tasted too good to heed his advice. I was watching from a few Human meters away, leaned against the outer wall of RadioShack. 

<I should just ask Rachel and Cassie,> he said. <They'd probably be fine with it.>

I had told him I would show him how to perform the  _ frolis _ maneuver, wherein DNA could be mixed together to create a genetically-unique individual from multiple sources of DNA. Our plan was to allow female mallgoers around our age to touch his hawk body, allowing Tobias to acquire their DNA. In order to do so, he needed to play dead, as Humans are rightly hesitant to touch wild animals if they are alive. In my Human morph, I would watch the process and ensure nothing went wrong. 

<Are you certain you would rather do that?> I asked, using thoughtspeak, as my mouth was quite full. I had already had to shoo away several males under the guise of having called 'Animal Control'. 

<Isn't this way way more unethical? Jake would freak,> he posited. It was true, Prince Jake certainly didn't approve of acquiring the DNA of sentient creatures, and neither did any of the others. But Tobias was my niece, and though not bound by DNA, we were bound by family. I found Andalite ethics much more applicable in this situation, anyway. 

<On my homeworld, it is considered quite flattering to be asked to contribute DNA for a more appropriate body. I'm sure these Human females would feel the same, if they knew,> I assured him, taking another bite of the frosty cinnamon bun. 

<How many am I going to need?> he asked. 

<Just two or three. You can mix them with your original DNA for an approximation of what you would look like had there been no desync,> I explained. 

<This is so stupid…> he said apprehensively. 

<Another Human is approaching. An appropriate candidate,> I informed him. 

The female in question was short and pale, with long golden hair, and had already begun to fuss over the grounded bird. She was looking at Tobias, but not touching him, so I walked over to the scene to convince her. 

"This bird is dead," I said to her matter-of-factly. She looked at me, and then back to Tobias. 

"Yeah, I think so," she said. Still, she showed no indication of wanting touch him. I quickly thought of a lie to prompt her. 

"Did you know that hawk feathers are extremely soft?" I said, reaching down and running my fingers over Tobias's cream-colored underbelly convincingly. 

<Woah, hawkbrain does  _ not _ like that,> he commented, but to his credit, he remained utterly still. 

"Really? Like a chinchilla?" the Human asked. I had no idea what a chinchilla was, but I nodded. 

"Even softer," I confirmed. The girl was skeptical, but reached down to see for herself. When her fingers touched Tobias's feathers, she went into the trance all creatures enter when having their DNA acquired. She continued to pet his feathers when she came to. 

"Wow, it's so soft I went blank for a second! Softness overload!" she exclaimed. "Why don't we make clothes out of hawks then?" 

<I don't like this girl anymore,> Tobias grumbled. Quickly thinking of another lie to get her out of there, as she was no longer needed, I stood back up from my squatting position. 

"Because of all the contagious diseases they carry," I said nonchalantly. The Human looked aghast, yanking her hand back and rising to full height. 

"What the hell?" she asked in disbelief. 

"Oh yes," I continued. "They carry many deadly diseases. Especially once they are dead."

"You fucking jerk!" she shouted, stumbling backwards, holding her hand out from her body. "I have to go wash my hands now, you creep!" 

I watched as she bolted back into the mall, screaming about how she was infected, and I had to stifle a laugh.

<I keep very clean, I'll have you know,> Tobias sniffed, still not moving. I walked back over my observation wall and leaned my back against it. Humans like to lean on things, which is understandable given how they have only two legs. I had gotten quite good at acting Human after a few years of practice. 

<I'm aware. I keep finding broken and imperfect feathers all over my scoop,> I retorted dryly. 

<Sorry,> he said. <It's hard to preen in the rain.>

Its true. A soaking wet bird is a sorry sight, especially when that bird is inhabited by a friend, so I always left a window open for him when the clouds threatened rain. 

Another few Humans had approached Tobias, but I led them away until another proper female appeared. The next one was taller than the first, with black hair and a yellowish skin color. I stuffed the last of my cinnamon bun into my mouth, and walked over. I repeated my lie about hawk feathers, and the girl was just as easily convinced. Once Tobias acquired her, I followed up with the fib about contagion. This one seemed concerned about the 'bird flu', once I prodded her into going, but definitely had a strange look on her face. Confusion, perhaps, more than fear or disgust. When she left, Tobias pushed himself to his feet and fluttered up into a nearby tree. 

<I feel disgusting,> he said. 

"Shall we go into the mall?" I asked, ignoring his self-deprecating and taking a bite of the paper cup my drink had come in. My Human friends say  _ this _ is disgusting, but it is still flavored with sweet residue, and has a pleasant, long-lasting texture. Besides, Tobias kills and eats living things, and there is nothing more disgusting to an Andalite than predation. But he is my shorm, and I overlook it because he cannot help it. 

<We should probably get some clothes first,> he said weakly. <Maybe we shouldn't have done this, I-- >

"Hey, what's up, Ax-man?" I heard Marco's voice say. Human emotions are strange things, and I felt a swell of happiness when I turned around to see him approaching me. My happiness was tempered slightly when I saw Prince Jake walking beside him, but they both seemed to be in a good mood. 

"Oh, hello Marco!" I replied, my happiness returning when I saw them walking together as normal. "Hello Pr- um, Jake."

<Hey guys,> Tobias said, raising a wing in salutation. 

They walked over to speak with me, certainly knowing Tobias could hear them from a much greater distance than I could. They greeted him as well, but without turning to face him, as talking directly to a hawk in public was bound to raise the suspicion of any nearby controllers. 

"Whatcha doin'?" Marco asked. I supposed I had better let Tobias answer. 

<Recon. And maybe a movie,> he answered fluidly. 

"And enjoying food," I added helpfully, taking another bite of the cup. 

"You know it's okay to hang out at the mall without it being official business, right?" said Jake. I nodded, and I could practically  _ feel _ Tobias wither when our Prince saw through our ruse. 

"Jake has something he wants to say to you," Marco hinted, looking to Prince Jake, whose face contorted into an expression I understand to be discomfort. 

"Yeah… I'm sorry I made you feel bad," he said, sounding pained. "I was being a jerk. You can date whoever you want." 

I imagined that apologizing to one's subordinates must be difficult, so I understood his hesitation. Regardless, I broke out into a smile, hastily swallowing the mushy glob of citrus-flavored tree pulp. 

"Thank you very much for your permission!" I said, beaming at Marco, who looked much more at ease than he had been when I had asked the first time. 

"You didn't need it," he replied. "Just… Don't get into trouble, okay?" 

"Trouble? Us? Come on Jake, you know us better than that," Marco said, pulling an innocent face. Jake glared at him, but didn't say anything. 

<Speaking of trouble, uhh… Ax? I think one of those girls was a controller,> Tobias said privately. I jerked my head backwards due to the lack of stalk eyes, and spotted the female speaking on one of the coin-operated telephones outside the entrance. 

<What makes you think so?> I asked discreetly. 

<Who else would be talking on the phone about andalite bandits? The yeerk got suspicious, I'm guessing. We gotta split, Ax,  _ yesterday _ ,> Tobias said desperately, flapping away. 

"Uh, you okay?" Marco asked me. 

"We must leave. I fear we may have been exposed to a controller," I said, pulling both humans away from the entrance by their artificial fur. "You would do well to depart at different times."

<Yeah, there's someone on the phone talking about 'Andalite bandits,'> Tobias confirmed as he alighted on the flat mall roof where nobody could see him, but could still hear us. 

"What were you guys doing to draw attention?" Jake hissed, glaring at me. I said nothing, not wanting to expose Tobias, but also knowing we had to leave in a hurry. 

"We gotta go, Jake, come on," Marco said urgently, and I was quietly thankful. Both humans split off and walked in opposite directions, feigning a casual gait. 

<Oh jeez, Jake is gonna tear me a new one,> Tobias muttered nervously. 

<Isn't that part of the anatomy you desire?> I asked as I walked away from the mall entrance as well, hoping against hope that I wasn't being tailed.

<Ha.> Tobias clucked dryly. He was still perched on the roof, covering my retreat. By the time we had reached the bus stop, I was certain the danger had passed. Tobias assured me that I was not being followed, and I was able to relax. 

The bus ride home was uneventful, and I was looking forward to some peace and quiet at my scoop. I would teach Tobias to mix DNA with the Frolis maneuver tomorrow, as today had been too tiring. I removed my coverings, placing them into the bag I had designated for the purpose, and sling it over my back. Tobias landed on it, so as not to hurt me with his talons. 

<Hey,> he said softly. I swiveled my stalk eyes back to look at him. He leaned into my back, closing his eyes. <Thanks for today, Ax. Even if it didn't go well. You helped me with someone thing nobody else would. Thanks.>

I gingerly reached a hand back, and Tobias latched onto my arm gently enough to only leave small scratches. I would morph them away later. I held Tobias out in front of me in both hands, and traced a finger down his plumage. The andalite version of a human hug wasn't as impactful on a bird, but I had taught him what it means. 

<You are my shorm, how many times must I remind you? I have no doubts you would have done the same for me,> I chided gently. <It was my duty.>

<You're the best shorm I could have asked for,> he said as I released him, and I smiled. He rode on my bag once again as I trotted towards my scoop. I opened the door, and found something worse than a controller: a  _ very _ angry Rachel. 

"You two are SO! DAMN! STUPID!"


	6. Marco III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: 90's attitudes on lgbt stuff, plus /the/ slur. Just once. Not used in anger.

Once Jake and I made sure we weren't being tailed, we decided it was best to go to Ax's scoop to debrief. Tobias had been light on the details, and I wasn't sure how big of a deal whatever it is those two were doing was. We were actually still pretty far away when we heard a shrill, rage-filled tirade filtering through the trees. It was exactly loud and aggressive enough that I knew we'd be dealing with Rachel soon. Jake shot me worried look, surprised and clearly about as hot on the prospect of walking into a Rachel-rage as I was. I tried and failed to give him a reassuring smirk, but it came out looking messy. Either way, we pressed on. As we approached the scoop, we could make out more and more of what was being said. And even weirder, we could hear _Ax_ arguing back against someone who was yelling at him, something that _never_ happened. Once we heard that, we quickened up the pace a little, knowing we might be short one Andalite if we didn't rescue him soon. 

"You idiots! This might have gotten us caught!" Rachel shouted. "Your little stunt was _so damn obvious_ I'm surprised you didn't get jumped by controllers right then and there!"

<It was a well-thought-out, well-executed, and vitally important recon mission!> Ax replied tartly, not flinching from Rachel like he usually would. Tobias cowered, feathers akimbo, on a duffel on Ax's back, as if _he_ was scared. 

"Really? How important was this? Toby, we talked about this! You can't endanger us all because of your… Your…" Rachel trailed off, looking for the right word. 

<Brain-body desync.> Ax supplied dryly. 

"That! How is that something that needs to be taken care of _now?"_ she pressed. As we approached, I could see Ax recoil, like he does whenever he sees a yeerk without a host. 

<You're correct, it should have been taken care of when she first understood the desync existed. But humans have a lot of growing to do, and so do you, if you don't see why,> Ax said firmly. <Surely you realize her innate knowledge that she was female was what led her to abandon her human body in the first place!>

I froze. Oh crap. Ax just unwittingly dropped the dime on Tobias in front of Jake. I don't know what Tobias's problem had to do with their mall trip and controllers spotting them, but it couldn't be good. He didn't know we were in earshot (thoughtspeak-shot, anyway) and just obliterated the closet door. I thought it was something I would be able to safely ignore, but now Mr. I-just-stopped-being-a-homophobe-like-two-hours-ago was in the know. He turned to me, confused for a second, clearly confused as to whom Ax was referring, since it was pretty weird hearing someone talk about Tobias as a 'her'. Jake turning to me was a problem, for a couple of reasons. First off, he stopped walking, meaning he either wanted to eavesdrop some more or talk to me before we went over to the scoop. But the real problem was that I got to see him realize what Ax meant. I got to see a solid dose of that disgust again. What was worse was that I couldn't even blame him. It seemed gross to me at first. But it was Tobias. 

" _You knew about this?"_ Jake asked in a hushed tone as Rachel and Ax continued their back and forth. 

"Since last night," I admitted, more embarrassed than I probably should have been. 

"What, so Tobias would rather be a girl?" he asked. "I thought that was just him being weird and curious!" 

"Pretty much, yeah. There's a word for it. Like a technical one, I forget, but it's a real thing," I replied. Jake settled, the disgust and confusion melting into a thoughtful look. 

"He always used to get made fun of for acting girly, you know, super faggy and--" he said, before clamping his mouth shut. He looked at me like he had accidentally called my grandmother a bitch, but I shrugged. He was still getting used to the whole 'not being a jerk about gay stuff', so I cut him a break for now. Jake calmed down and continued. "I always thought he just didn't know better, or was just naturally weird but… _What the heck."_

I grunted in agreement. I figured Ax wouldn't get it, but instead he was out there defending Tobias like _we_ were the jerks. Still, Tobias was a person, a friend, and someone we can rely on, so I figured even if it doesn't make sense, we owed him compassion at the very least. I hadn't picked up very much in our rap sesh the night before, but something he'd said did stick, and it helped me understand a little. I figured maybe it'd help Jake too. 

"He-- _Tobias_ \--" I whispered, pretty sure it was gonna take me a few days to get this whole 'remember bird boy is bird girl now' thing down, "--said that the disgust or confusion a normal person feels when thinking about turning into the other sex is like… Pretty much what _she_ feels in a guy's body. _She_ felt trapped." 

See that? See that Tobias? See how good a friend I am? I even went out on a limb and started referring to you as a female! The history books are gonna remember me, I tell you. The kind and compassionate Marco, way ahead of his time, best friend to human and alien and drag queen alike! I could see Jake chewing on what I said, and he gave me the facial equivalent of a shrug and an 'oh well.' I guess he applied the whole Cassie lesson to _this_ whole thing, too. 

"C'mon," I said, patting him on the back. "We should talk about the actual important stuff." 

"Yeah," was all Jake could manage. 

Once we were closer to the clearing that the scoop was in, Rachel and Ax calmed down, looking around for danger when they heard us approach. Rachel must have been pretty on-edge, because she was just starting to morph grizzly when Jake had the good sense to call out "It's us." 

"What are you two doing here?" Rachel asked suspiciously. 

"What, are we not allowed to debrief? And maybe, uh, _figure out what was going on that got the controllers on our butts?"_ I said, incredulous. 

<I'm pretty sure we weren't followed,> Tobias said weakly. He sounded like a kid in the principal's office.

"What blew our cover, even? And why are _you_ here?" Jake asked, nodding to Rachel, who had finished demorphing. She glared at Ax and Tobias. 

"I was just about to buy a _very_ cute pair of shoes, when one girl after another came sprinting through to store to get to the bathroom, crying about 'hawk germs'. I just put two and two together," she said, sticking out her jaw and cocking a hip passive-aggressively. "The rest is up to _them_ to tell you." 

<Of course. Prince Jake, we were performing reconnaissance that could bolster our overall effectiveness as a unit,> he said, his back straight as a board, projecting utter confidence. Normally I cowered under Rachel's wrath, and so did everyone else, but Ax wasn't budging. It made me less nervous than I ordinarily would have been. 

"What _precisely_ were you doing?" Jake needled, glaring at the pair. "We heard you talking on the way over. Something about Tobias?" 

<We were acquiring new morphs for the psychological and sociological benefit-- > Ax said, but Tobias hastily cut him off. 

<We were acquiring girls. So I could make a mix of their DNA and mine, for my human morph. I hate being a guy,> Tobias spat simply. And just like that, it was out, straight from the horse's, uh, _harpy's_ mouth. Ha, gender-affirming wordplay, eat your tiny little raptor heart out, bird girl. Jake turned it over in his head, and said probably the least judgemental thing he could have. 

"Mmkay." 

Mmkay. _Mmkay?_ Mmm- _frickin'_ -kay?! He pretty much called _me_ a freak, but Tobias gets an 'mmkay?' Acquiring humans for some kind of elaborate crossdressing scenario earns an noncommittal mmkay? Freaking favoritism, that's what it is! Either that or he was at a loss for words. Or Cassie had _really_ done a number on him. 

"So I'm guessing one of the controllers got wise you two?" Jake continued. 

<Yes. One of the females Tobias acquired was a controller, and realized she was being acquired. At least I assume the yeerk got suspicious, since one cannot acquire DNA while in morph, nor as a nothlit, and clearly Tobias is not an Andalite.> Ax replied clinically. <It is possible that this will throw off any suspicions the yeerk may have had.>

"You're so stupid, _both_ of you! You could have just asked me and Cassie!" Rachel spat. 

<Acquiring the DNA of a lover is considered somewhat _gauche,_ no matter the circumstance,> Ax sniffed. 

"Is it considered _gauche_ to kick both your asses for blowing our cover over something so stupid!?" Rachel fumed. Jake and I just glanced at each other, content to let this play out. If neither Ax nor Tobias has seen anything to be worried about once they left the mall, and Rachel had been not that far behind, chances were pretty good that nobody had followed us, and those two just had to lay low and avoid the mall for a while. 

<Stupid? This is not stupid. She is suffering! And you should be happier than anyone that she will no longer suffer, since you love her, do you not?> Ax chided, leaning forward slightly to emphasize his point. Rachel glared at him, but he didn't back down. <If you think her affliction is _stupid_ , then you and I are going to need to _have words. >_

I got a kind of tickle in the bottom of my guts, a sort of flutter. I couldn't place it at first, but the more I watched, the more I realized what it was. Ax was normally a laid-back guy, but here he was, about as annoyed as I've ever seen him with one of us. It wouldn't be _my_ chosen hill to die on, but watching Ax more or less defend Tobias's honor against a very angry Rachel… It was making me feel things towards him. Like an attaboy, but stronger, more personal. Maybe it was pride. Either way, the feeling took over and I found myself jumping in. 

"Alright, I'm pretty sure we can all agree your plan was, uh, _suboptimal,_ " I said, nodding to Rachel before turning around to Jake, who also nodded. "But what's done is done, the damage was minimal, and everything is okay. Okay?" 

I expected Rachel to shrug and agree, even be a little steamed but ultimately calm down. She responded very differently than I was expecting, though. Her chin pushed in, her lip stuck out, her eyes screwed up, and she started to cry. It took me a second to realize what was happening, because, you know… She's _Rachel!_ Rachel never cries! Not during movies, not after missions, not after getting cut from the cheer squad, _never._ She turned and jogged towards the thicker part of the woods, leaving the rest of us stunned and speechless. Jake was the first to recover. 

"I think you should go after her," Jake said somberly, looking at Tobias. He-- _she_ (argh!) was hidden under a wing, which was pretty un-Tobias-like behavior. Usually Tobias keeps it real, acting like a hawk for the most part, but some human body language seemed to be seeping in. 

<I don't think it'd help,> she said glumly. <She doesn't want to see me right now.>

"Ax? Maybe you should apologize," Jake suggested, clearly grasping at straws. None of us had ever seen Rachel or Ax act like they just had, so we had no idea how to deal with it. It was totally alien to us. More alien than the literal space alien right in front of us. It was like being a little kid and watching your father cry. You feel helpless. 

<I didn't say anything wrong. If I was too forceful, I will apologize, but I will not apologize for educating my friends on a simple quirk of DNA-based life,> he said, still standing tall and firm. The flutter in my gut was still there, but it was also tempered by the confusion of what I had just witnessed. 

"Marco… Maybe--" Jake started weakly. 

"You're her cousin, dude," I replied mechanically. I wanted to help, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to step away from Ax. I couldn't even take my eyes off him. It wasn't sexual, I promise, but I was just… transfixed. Not to mention, the idea of a sobbing Rachel weirded me out. 

Jake grunted assent, but looked unwilling to pursue her. After a brief silence, Tobias offered the only logical solution. 

<You should probably go get Cassie.>


	7. Ax IV

It took Prince Jake surprisingly long to convince Marco to fetch Cassie, and even it even took Jake shoving him off in the direction of her farm when I waved goodbye, as that seemed to make him want to leave even less. Still, I could sense my prince wanted to talk to Tobias and I in relative peace. I could understand how her desync could change the group dynamic, and it was his job as a leader to manage that. 

"You know how many times risked my neck to convince bullies you _weren't_ gay, Tobias?" Prince Jake asked admonishingly. Tobias fluttered to a low branch, hiding behind an instinctual hawk behavior of straightening her feathers out. She said nothing. 

" _Are_ you gay? Do you actually like Rachel?" Prince Jake pressed, an annoyed furrow in his brow. "That would mess things up for a while." 

<I _think_ I like girls. I don't know about anyone else but… I _know_ I like Rachel. I don't know why, but… I do,> she replied, sounding apprehensive. She paused, and a mildly annoyed tone crept into her thoughtspeak. <And I think we're all mature enough to put personal differences aside to save our planet.>

I bobbed my stalk eyes in agreement. <I believe we have fought together long enough that the group would survive something as benign as Tobias's desync,> I agreed. Still, I felt a pebble stuck in my hoof over how Prince Jake had phrased his question, belying a flawed understanding. <However, I feel the need to inform you that her preferred sexuality has nothing to do with her desync. If she has a sexuality, that is.>

Prince Jake took a moment to parse my statement before closing his eyes in what I assume to be exasperation or skepticism. "Ax, what do you even know about gay stuff?" 

<Quite a lot, considering I have a date with Marco tomorrow, > I replied. I looked to Tobias, but she didn't seem eager to contribute, so I explained that the same desync and reproductive variations exist in Andalites, and in fact in _all_ DNA-based species. Prince Jake was quiet and contemplative as I relayed common knowledge in the simplest clinical terms I could manage. Years ago this would have confused him, but Prince Jake and the others were fast approaching their entrance into the upper tier of human education, University. As such, they had a much better developed understanding of the sciences, which I was grateful for, although I had always been able to have intelligent conversations with Cassie. Humans are not stupid beings, as I had once thought. They simply teach things at a slower pace because they have discovered less, and thus have less to learn. Someday I'm sure young humans will keep pace with Andalite students. 

"Thanks for the lecture, _professor._ What makes you so sure alien biology applies to humans, anyway? Does DNA matter that much? I'm don't look anything like a hork-bajir, so what does it matter if we use the same molecule?" Prince Jake protested, pinching the bridge of his protruding human nose. 

<We can literally turn into animals. I think his species knows a little more about biology than ours, Jake,> Tobias said gently. 

<Taxxons and yeerk scum store their genetic information in proteins, unlike you and I and hork-bajir, and thus they do not exhibit such behavior,> I offered. 

"Still, how come there aren't gays all over the place then?" Prince Jake pressed. "It can't be _that_ normal, I've never met anyone like you or Marco before now, Tobias." 

<Wait here,> I told him, unsatisfied with his continued skepticism. I dipped inside my scoop to an exasperated cry from Tobias (<You've literally known us the whole time, we just had to hide it! The hell are you talking about!?>) and returned with the book on Eljeebeetee humans, presenting it to Prince Jake. <Human scientists agree with what I told you, but your _culture_ has yet to catch up. It forms a negative feedback loop. That is why neither Marco nor Tobias felt safe in telling you.>

We let Prince Jake skim the overview in the first section while Tobias and I spoke privately. 

<You are absolutely certain we are safe, and not under surveillance?> I asked. It would have been easy for me to scan behind us, had I had the correct number of eyes during our trip home. Still, Tobias filled the gap, and as much as I loathe to admit it, her vision is far superior to mine. 

<I checked and double checked before we got home. Trust me, I wouldn't be here playing Dr. Ruth if I had even the slightest suspicion the controller tailed us,> she replied drolly. It was a weight off my mind. 

"Alright, so it's something you can't help," Jake surmised. "I knew that, but… It's still weird. It's just weird to me. I'm sorry, I can't help that." 

<I understand. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable,> Tobias apologized, shame apparent in her voice. 

<Do not apologize to him,> I said firmly. <He is our prince and our friend, and his feelings should be considered, but you have done nothing worthy of apology. You have _done_ anything, you simply _are_.>

"It was pretty greazy of you to just _take_ people's DNA, though, Tobias. That's not okay," Prince Jake said. "Why did you need more than one, anyway?" 

<Ax was going to teach me how to mix the DNA with my own so I could make a genetically-female version of my human morph,> Tobias replied evenly. Prince Jake pondered this for a moment, then shook his head. 

"If you're not _becoming_ them, I guess it's not _that_ bad," he said, looking nonplussed but less upset. "You're not stealing who they are. But that's it though, it was a one time thing. Got it?"

<Cross my heart and hope to eat rats for the rest of my life,> Tobias confirmed. 

"Fuck, man, I can't even get into that headspace, wanting to be something else so bad," he sighed, leaning against a tree. 

<Page 104 has a good description of what I feel like,> Tobias said gently. I remembered the passage well. Prince Jake flipped to the page and began to read. 

'You feel like you're trapped, like someone glued a costume onto you and you can't get it off. You look in the mirror and see what everyone else sees and realize that people are making all these assumptions about you because they think you're someone who you're not. Everything feels wrong,' he read. He looked up at Tobias. "That's how you feel all the time?" 

<It used to be worse when I wasn't a hawk. But I feel that way whenever I morph human, yeah,> she confirmed. 

"I never made any assumptions about you, you know," Prince Jake offered. 

<I know. That's why I followed you around all the time,> she replied. 

"So you were unhappy all the time. Like that feeling you get when you morph something gross and feel disgusted with yourself?" Prince Jake asked, realization dawning in his face. 

<Kinda, but it's worse. A roach is a roach, but people don't expect a roach to have ulterior motives. To be some kind of predator that pounces on girls if he shows the slightest interest in girly things,,> Tobias lamented. <I felt sectioned off from everything I wanted to do, and I got yelled at for wanting things I couldn't help but want.>

"So that's why you got stuck as a bird," Prince Jake surmised. 

<I was aiming for 'chick,' but I overshot,> Tobias joked morosely. Normally she wasn't one to make jokes at her own expense, but I could tell she was still tired from last night, and probably a little dazed from laying herself bare to the rest of the group. Still, it was funny. Prince Jake chuckled at her joke, then laughed so loud he almost dropped the book, only managing to keep it in his hands with a little help from the blunt end of my tail blade. 

"Which feels better, being a guy or being a hawk? If you had to pick?" he asked. 

<Hawk. Ten times out of ten, hawk,> Tobias said without hesitation. 

"That sucks. So, what, we just call you Toby or something now? Talk about you like you're a girl?" Prince Jake asked, still coughing out residual laughing spasms. 

<I mean, yeah, pretty much. I'm gonna have a female human morph so if you wanna pretend I'm a new person that's okay, too,> she replied. 

"You're gonna act differently?" Prince Jake asked, cocking an eyebrow. "Won't that feel kinda fake?" 

<I don't know, I think I had a lot of myself beaten out of me when I was a kid,> Toby said, and my hearts broke for her. <It'll take some time to feel like me. Sorry if it comes off as an act.>

<But you won't be,> I posited. <You have always been who you are, it won't be _acting_. You have simply become withdrawn from certain behaviors because-- >

<Baby steps, Ax. Baby steps,> she cut in. 

Prince Jake looked down at the book in his hands, and closed it, tucking it under his arm thoughfully. 

"Mind if I borrow this book for a while, Ax?" he asked. "I thought about what I said to Marco the other day, and I wasn't really thinking about how he felt. I uh… Look, Tobias--sorry, _Toby_ \--this doesn't seem like the kind of thing you would choose if you could help it. It's gonna take me a little bit, but I'll get used to it. Sorry if I forget."

I was delighted! I had known he was working on accepting things that more advanced and rational cultures took as givens, but I hadn't expected him to learn more for the sake of being a better leader. Whatever disappointment I had in him from the prior night cycle was completely undone. 

<Of course, my prince! You should read-->

"The parts relevant to you and Marco, I know," Jake shrugged sheepishly. I quirked an eye stalk in confusion. 

<Relevant to Marco and I? I know we have a date, but I don't think he is a consummate homosexual,> I responded. It was true. Marco spoke of being master of courting females; his prowess was legend! Besides, while I preferred female Andalites, humans were a completely different species, so assuming human form for a date wasn't really homosexuality, now was it? When you inhabit a form so different from your own, that would certainly be the bigger factor than what gender of person you romanced. Toby and Prince Jake, however, seemed to think they knew better, as they shared a glance before bursting into howls of laughter, sounding not unlike wolves in my mind and ears. 

"Y-you know Marco is into guys, right? He thinks your human morph is sexy or something," Prince Jake managed. "The whole Rico Suavé thing he does is just a bit. To throw people off the scent, but it's so over the top it's not hard to tell." 

<He _has_ said my morph is pretty,> I conceded. <Is it?> I asked. 

<You used to look like an _alright_ girl, or a _really_ pretty guy. Like some kind of racially non-descript elf. You still look good but as your morph got older you tipped the scale towards handsome rather than pretty,> Toby supplied helpfully. I can always count on her for an objective and rational account of things. Still, I turned to Prince Jake, who only shrugged in agreement. 

<But you say Marco is only interested in other males?> I asked. 

<How did you not know that, Ax? I thought that's why you asked him out!> Toby chuckled. <I know you said you like andalite girls and all but you _do_ get kind of touchy-feely with Marco.>

<Isn't that a normal way to express closeness and affection with a friend?> I queried. 

"Only if you're interested or dating that person, Ax-man," Prince Jake said. "Sometimes girls do it as friends, but I don't know much about it."

This perplexed me. Toby had always been relatively averse to affection, and I had never felt it was appropriate to be so familiar with my Prince. As much as I enjoy their company, I had never cultivated a particularly close relationship with either Cassie of Rachel, but Marco always enjoyed spending time with me. I felt my eye stalks droop. I had been teasing him without knowing. I felt awful.

<Oh… >

"So do you have any idea why Rachel reacted the way she did, Toby?" Prince Jake asked, mercifully changing the subject. 

<I think I know. I'm not one hundred percent sure but it's… private,> she said, looking off into the woods to avoid our eyes. 

"She's not going to do anything stupid, right?" Prince Jake pressed. "Where do you think she went?" 

<Cassie's, probably. I hope Marco gets there before she does,> Toby said wistfully. <Everything will be okay. Eventually.>

<I hope so.>


	8. Esplin I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I use they/them for yeerks since they don't have genders or sexes.

[Beginning memory dump to Invasion Log, Unified Date 901-243-01, first planetary infestation+23 local orbits.]

Bah. 

I get tired, you know? Being given idiots as subordinates, traitors every other week, being beset by andalite guerrillas… This invasion has not been going well. It's our first technological species to assimilate, but still. It should be faster. Humans aren't worth much anyway. 

<Now, what to do with you…?> I wondered aloud, stalking back and forth in front of the chained traitor before me. The host was a young adult human male, and the yeerk inside had conspired with it to circumvent its duties. 

<I wonder… Kadrona starvation? No, it would take too long, and your host wouldn't suffer enough,> I mused. The human looked at me with what I know to be anger. Pah! As if I care. <Tell me, Isilla-8596, which method of death frightens you most?>

The traitor stayed silent, glaring at me with hatred. I almost enjoy the ones who remain defiant. Almost. At the very least I'm able to flex my muscles a little. Quick as a flash, my host's tail blade, that is to say  _ mine,  _ as he is my property, was at the traitor's throat. 

"Fuck you," the controller said. Outwardly I was fuming, but inwardly, I relished the thought of being able to remove this defiance. Slowly, pull it from them until they see how monumentally they had failed by opposing me. Their despair is my favorite. 

<You fool, do you know whom you oppose, worm!?> I shouted. 

"You're the one who looks like a worm. Underneath that scary alien, that's all you are," the host said, leaning into my tail blade. "Kill me. Kill me and be done with it. I can die happy knowing how short-sighted your species is, how you will never achieve beyond what you have."

I pressed my blade into the human's neck, just enough to pierce their skin, not enough to sever any circulatory passages. Enough for pain. Pain usually brings compliance. But still, their comment intrigued me despite it all. 

<What  _ ever  _ you mean? Your species is being brought to heel, and from there we shall enslave the Andalites,> I sneered. <We have achieved what you could never.>

"You were  _ given _ your technology," the host spat. "You've had a great inventor--"

<We have had a solution in front of us forever, but it's been obfuscated by war, war,  _ war!  _ I can see now you'll never stop. I would rather be dead than help this empire's primitive goals,> Isilla-8596 onterjected resolutely. I grinned. I would enjoy torturing these two. So lively, so full of conviction! Most who came before me as traitors withered within seconds, but these two would be a challenge to break. I'd been bored lately anyway. 

"Visser?" I heard a voice call up the stairs to my chamber. "I believe we've made contact with the Andalite force on this planet."

Hmm. My fun would have to wait. 

<Get up here. Brief me,> I beckoned. A controller with a human female host hastily ran up the steps to my "office,“ and I pressed the button on the remote to clamp the male traitor's mouth shut. 

"I am almost certain that Eliss 9080's host was acquired by an andalite today, Visser," the controller said. 

< _ Almost  _ certain? How great a fool are they to miss an  _ andalite _ touching them?!> I snapped. I like concrete facts. My underlings always try to leave themselves little ways out here and there, phrasing things so as not to invoke my wrath. But they are stupid, and should have learned a long time ago that those who are direct fare better under my command. 

<They were coaxed by a human, possibly an andalite in morph, into touching an animal. They said they felt very calm, and their host's senses went dull for a few seconds. I believe their host's DNA was acquired,> they said. 

<You mentally deficient worm! DNA acquisition is possible when morphed! How  _ dare _ you interrupt me when I'm handling morale for such vapidity!?> I shouted at them. They cowered, but quickly spit out the lynchpin of their report just as I was raising my tail blade to kill them. 

"The one they suspect was in human morph was behaving very strangely trying to get people to touch the other one, who was playing dead in a bird morph. The controller watched the bird get up and fly away as soon as they left," they said in a small voice. I pulled my tail back to strike, but paused for a moment. What reason could this yeerk have to lie to me? With such an obviously-ludicrous story, something so self-endangering… It at least merited investigation. 

<What is your name and pool number?> I snapped. 

"Somnen-5861," they responded, quickly adding, "The one who made contact is Eliss-9080."

I looked over the controller for any hint of fear. Nothing I took from the half dozen human psychologists' memories indicated that Somnen was scared. That bothered me, quite a bit. 

<Should this investigation yield results, Somnen, you and Eliss shall be suitably rewarded. But, if it should fail… I cannot guarantee a respite from the pain you will endure,> I said darkly, and they knew it tk be true. Forcing a host to stay awake is easy, when running on the excitement of pushing a creature's nerves to the limit. If power was not so intoxicating, I believe I would have made an excellent investigator. 

"Shall I lead-" Somnen started to say, but stopped when he heard my involuntary laugh. 

<Hah! You? No, no,  _ your Visser _ shall handle this matter personally,> I said, a vague plan forming in my mind as I trotted towards the door. I tossed my underling the remote control for the traitor's restraints. <See that this traitor makes it back to their cage. I will finish with them later.>


	9. Marco IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, some misgendering, some phobia, and some emotional abuse. I really like Rachel, I don't mean to assassinate her character, but she clearly has issues and of she doesn't talk show them then how is she gonna fix them?

It wasn't a super long walk to Cassie's, but I felt like flying, anyway. It's pretty easy to hold a rolled up t-shirt and shorts in your talons if you're an osprey. It felt good to be in the air again. I hadn't morphed in a while, and at least now I wouldn't have to worry about that hangnail that had been bothering me. Morphing fixes stuff like that. Puts you back how your genes would make you look. Rachel was  _ furious _ when she found out she didn't have pierced ears anymore, and her nails lost all the polish she cared about so much. Cassie lost some hair extensions once and it wasn't pretty when she demorphed. Jake was in for the biggest surprise of all, and  _ that _ conversation wasn't fun, let me tell you. 

I know I was supposed to be thinking about Rachel, but part of my mind couldn't get over how Ax had been acting. Sure, he was going all hippie dippie San Francisco on Tobias's behalf, and he's probably right about it, but seeing him stick up for her cast him in a different light. I don't know what kind of light, exactly, but a different one. Ordinarily it wouldn't take up too much space in my head, but it was stuck there and wasn't going away. 

I heard Rachel before I saw her. She wasn't exactly trying to hide. I landed and demorphed, putting my clothes back on before walking over to where the noise was coming from. Hork-bajir are scary and stuff, Taxxons are gross. But they still don't scare me as much as the primal roaring of a grizzly bear. Probably because we came up on the same planet, the bear is worked into the human psyche as "really really dangerous", and knowing it was Rachel in there didn't do much to alleviate my hesitancy to interrupt. She was going to town on a fallen log, like one of those big dry ones, and there were claw marks and broken teeth stuck in the wood. On the branch of a nearby tree, I saw a leopard laying down and lazily curling its tail. 

"Hello ladies," I said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. The grizzly attacking the huge chunk of wood stopped its onslaught. 

<Hi, Marco,> Cassie greeted me. Even through thought-speech I could tell she was using a 'this-isn't-a-good-time' tone. <Rachel, stop--!>

I was confused at first, but then I saw Rachel charging towards me. That primal thing in my brain told me to get the hell out of there, but my rational brain stood my ground. It was Rachel. 

<What do you want, Marco?> she snapped when she skidded to a halt a few feet in front of me. That's when I got a good look at her. She was missing a few claws, and both paws were covered in blood, hers, I'm assuming, otherwise Cassie would not have been so chill. <Well?> she prompted, after I sort of zoned out. What  _ did _ I want? 

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. I've never seen you like that before," the words came pouring out of my mouth. You know that feeling when your vision goes all tunnelly and it feels like someone else is talking? That. 

<Do I look 'okay' to you?> Rachel spat, growling for emphasis. 

"I'm not digging the nails, but the fur coat definitely suits you," I said, digging into my defuse-with-humor act. Cassie stifled a thoughtspeak titter. 

<Oh, what, you're gay now so now you're Bobby Trendy?> Rachel snarled. 

"Harsh, Rach," I breathed, somewhat hurt. I know you're supposed to be able to make fun of yourself, but when there's malice in it, it hurts. I did the good friend thing and soldiered on. "No, but you're one of us. And I'm guessing Tobias's thing doesn't sit right with you."

<No. It really doesn't. Why couldn't he just drop it?> she asked plaintively, falling down onto her rump. 

<I don't think that's how it works,> Cassie said gently. Now that I was pretty sure Rachel wasn't gonna eat me, I turned to Cassie. <Congratulations on telling Jake, by the way,> she added privately. I chose not to acknowledge it. 

"Why are you a cat?" I asked. 

<Leopards aren't intimidated by bear noises.  _ I  _ am,> she explained. 

"You serious? My abuela's cats are scared of the  _ vacuum _ ," I posited. 

<Alpha predator. What does a leopard have to fear? Pretty much nothing,> she said, and it made sense. Damn her for always making so much sense. When I turned back to Rachel, she was mostly-human again. I gave her a sec to let her finish-- _ nobody _ likes being seen mid-morph; it's gross--and another sec to pull on whatever non-morphsuit clothes she had with her. 

"Sorry," she said, sounding hollow. 

"I don't think you owe anyone an apology. Things just are how they are.  _ Que sera, sera, comprende _ ?" I said, trying to lift her spirits a little bit. She just nodded mutely, and Cassie, fully human, dropped down from her branch. 

"Why did you and Ax have to go filling his head with ideas, though?" Rachel sighed. I was shocked. I don't know what the scoop troop gets up to when I'm not around, but I sure wasn't telling Tobias to go ahead and start being a chick. She was gonna do it anyway. 

"You should really talk to--uh-- _ them _ about it," I said, tiptoeing around upsetting Rachel. "Tobias came to  _ me. _ "

"He came to me first, Marco. I was pissed at you for mentioning it. The less he talked about, it the less I figured he would still feel that way. I thought it would go away," Rachel said, shuddering and trying not to cry. Cassie walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder, but Rachel didn't react. 

"It's okay to be upset, but not  _ at _ Tobias. She didn't choose--" Cassie started, but Rachel let out a groan. 

"Stop! Just stop! Now everyone's on board with him turning into a girl, calling him 'her' and shit… When did this become the way things are!?" she said angrily, tears streaming down her face. 

"We  _ do _ live in California, you know," I offered. Rachel shot me a glare and I just shrugged. I would have loved to see Ax trying to explain Z-space to a bunch of hillbillies if the war was centered in West Virginia. 

"You lost a boyfriend, but you have a new girl friend, won't that be fun?" Cassie offered weakly. Rachel wasn't having it, and I could tell hanging out with Cassie wasn't going to get us anywhere. We needed to take her mind off things. 

"Got time for a mission?" I said. That perked Rachel right up. 

"Where?" she asked. 

"The mall. Just watching people, seeing if anything weird is going on, since we did kinda just kick a hornet's nest," I said. I couldn't come up with anything better, but it worked. 

"In morph," she replied. Cassie looked at me, nodding knowingly, and gave me a thumbs up where Rachel couldn't see. 

"Duh," I said, pleased to have snapped her out of her funk for the time being. A little vacation to the simple brain of a bird might do her some good. 

Half an hour later and Rachel and I were sitting on the light posts in the mall parking lot as seagulls. I would have preferred something with better vision, but it doesn't make much sense for an eagle to hang out in a parking lot. It was surveillance, so we didn't have to do much. Just sit there and people watch. It was pretty obvious who the controllers were. There was an entrance to the yeerk pool in the fitting rooms in the Gap, and there are only so many people taking gap bags  _ into _ the mall before you figure out its a signal that the person is a controller. But we were seagulls, so we were just here to watch. 

<Sorry for biting your head off earlier,> she said out of nowhere. I eyed a controller who was moving a little fast, and mentally shrugged. 

<I get why you would be upset. It's not like you can date anyone outside our little pool of misfits,> I replied. 

<Is that why you're going out with Ax?> she prodded knowingly. 

<Which of us has the weirder situation here?> I said, but Rachel didn't take the bait.

< _ Do _ you like him?> she asked. 

<I'm… I don't know. I'm not sure,> I said truthfully. He was a good guy, smart, funny, and had a cute human morph, but I don't know if we'd ever been especially close. 

<I wasn't sure about Tobias at first, either,> she said. And look at that, the old Marco razzle-dazzle distract 'em strategy worked! She was starting to open up. 

<But you two like each other, right? Or did?> I prompted gently. I'm not known to be emotional, but she really needed it. Somehow I worked my way into the unenviable position of being the breakup friend. Save me from myself. 

<Yeah,> she said. 

<But she told you about this before, though,> I surmised. I could practically  _ feel _ Rachel recoil when I called Tobias a 'she', but she recovered pretty quickly. 

<For a while I thought he was just sensitive. Soft, you know? Not afraid to be in touch with his feminine side. I asked him if he was gay, but he told me he thought he was a girl inside. I told him that probably meant he  _ was _ gay,> she explained. <And he said no, he wasn't into guys, he liked me… But he was pretty adamant about the whole girl thing. But I told him we were through if he kept up with it, and he stopped talking about it.>

Now it was my turn to recoil. Her whole explanation felt greazy. Like, sleazy-greazy hair-in-your-food sour milk rotten egg  _ gross.  _

<How is someone who is so into fashion and, you know,  _ girly stuff _ \--> I asked incredulously, <\--be  _ this _ out-of-touch? There are plenty of sensitive straight guys, and plenty of bull headed immature gay guys, you know,  _ like me.  _ And I can tell you from experience that what Tobias has and what I have? They're not the same thing  _ at all _ . Completely different.>

I've had my disagreements with Rachel over the years, we all have, but this was the first time where I felt like I had a reason to be angry. I wasn't angry though, just indignant. Ticked. Now I know where Ax was coming from.

<Sorry,> she muttered, flapping down to a shady spot beneath a tree.

We sat in silence for a while, nothing out of the ordinary on this side of the mall, so we switched it up. Moved over to the other entrance where we'd run into the Scoop Troop earlier. Still nothing. 

<We've got about ten more minutes before we need to demorph,> I said, breaking the silence. <Want to steal some fries from the outside food court?>

<You know it,> Rachel replied happily. I gave her a peace offering, and I could hear the relief in her voice. We swooped down to the sun-baked plastic seating and went to town. People throw fries to seagulls all the time, it's funny to watch them flap around fighting over it. And I can tell you, as a seagull, it's really not half bad. Seagulls love salt, they want to eat it all the time because most of their food lives in the ocean. So fries to a seagull are about as good as food can get. I wonder if this is how Ax feels about motor oil and cigarette butts. 

<You know,> I said, horking down a whole fry, <I'm still me. And I think Tobias is still Tobias. You don't have to treat us different.>

<I guess so,> Rachel shrugged verbally. 

<Awesome! Mission accomplished, I guess,> I said, flapping back up to the lamp pole. We resolved to leave separately so as not to arouse suspicion, but then  _ he _ showed up. 

So, let me start off by saying that seagull vision is only a little better than a human's, but it gets a few more colors than we do. It's funky at first, but you can see some stuff that wouldn't be easily visible otherwise. Jellyfish stand out in UV, and shells almost sort of  _ glow. _ We could see a little beyond the visible spectrum, and that's how we saw it. 

A big distortion in the sky, shiny and multicolored like oil in water or the surface of a bubble. But distinctly in the shape of a yeerk blade ship. It was invisible to humans, and set down lightly on the roof of the mall. From my vantage point I could see him step out, and my blood ran cold. 

_ Visser 3 was at the mall.  _

  
  



	10. Ax V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg actual Animorphs plot? In *my* lgbt fic? It's more likely than you think!

<Ax!> I heard Marco shout in my mind as I was in the meadow, enjoying some earth plants. <Are Jake and Tobias still around? We've got trouble.>

<Jake has left for his home nearly one of your hours ago, but--> I said, but Rachel cut in. 

<Look, Ax, we ain't got time! Grab Tobias and get over to the mall as soon as you can!> she said, urgency in her voice. <Pick a bird that can see UV light!>

I galloped back to my scoop, where Toby was perched on a tree with her head under her wing, signaling she was asleep. 

<Toby, wake up, there is a situation that requires our immediate attention!> I said, giving her tree a sharp hoof to jostle her awake. 

<...How long was I asleep for?> she asked groggily. <I feel like garbage.>

<Twenty-seven of your minutes,> I replied, already morphing to a starling. 

<Twenty se--are you fricking serious? I get no sleep for two days and I only get  _ twenty seven  _ damn minutes before the world starts falling apart without me?> she grumbled, shaking herself awake. Normally, I felt sorry for her but we both had duty to attend to. 

<Yes, it is unfortunate, but we have to go! Follow me,> I commiserated, taking off in the direction of the mall.

A few minutes of flying later, and we arrived. Rachel and Marco stood watch from a light pole in seagull morphs, and we alighted just at the edge of thoughtspeak range. 

<What the hell, guys, I know we blew cover, so what are we doing back here so soon?> Toby asked stiffly. 

<Visser 3 is here, for starters,> Rachel shot back, sounding more annoyed than Toby. I hoped this wasn't going to be the tone of their dynamic from now on. Still, I could see the unmistakable outline of a blade ship parked on the mall roof. 

<Why would that be a problem? As far as I'm aware we were not followed back, so coming here would only expose us further,> I asked. 

<Yeah, but you two had to pull your little stunt in front of the only store in the mall with an outside security camera,> Rachel said, her voice dripping with exasperation. <Which means you three and Jake are  _ fucked _ if he finds the footage.>

Oh. Had I been able to see with all four of my eyes, I would have noticed the black camera dome above us when we were acquiring samples. Maybe I had even seen, and not comprehended. Even in starling morph, I felt myself flush with shame. It was my fault. I had gone against my prince's wishes and created a problem for all of us. But I had done so for the sake of my shorm. Regardless, I should have been more careful. 

<I can see how that would be a problem,> I agreed, doing my best to hide my embarassment. <So we must find and destroy the video recording of this afternoon.>

<That's the plan, Ax-man. And since you're Mr. Tech Genius…> Marco trailed off.

<I can do it,> Toby said, honorably taking the duty upon herself. <I'm the reason we got caught.>

<What are you gonna do when you find the camera room? How are you gonna smash the tape with a puny hawk-body? You would have to morph twice as many times as any of us,> Rachel replied. It was true. Toby's status as a nothlit complicated things. 

<I know the store better than any of you. Besides, Toby did not choose to do what we did today. What we did was not  _ wrong _ but we did it in the wrong place. It was my idea, my failure, and I will undo the damage,> I said, flapping off towards the nearby woods to demorph and morph into something better suited to the task. I was followed by Marco first, then Rachel, then Toby.

<If you're going in there, I'm going with you,> Toby said resolutely. Normally, I would agree, but I had seen her faltering in flight on the way over. Her human mind may not have been firmly attached to the day/night cycle of Earth, but the hawk's brain certainly was. It wasn't designed to 'pull an all nighter', the human expression I have learned from doing several such feats with Marco.

<I am sorry to say, you would be a detriment at the moment. You are struggling to remain awake,> I refused. <I can do this alone. It should be an easy mission.>

<Easy? Sneaking into RadioShack with Visser 3 slithering around? What's your plan, then?" Marco asked, just finishing demorphing. 

<One of you two--> I gestured to Marco and Rachel, <\--can carry me inside as a small animal, perhaps an insect. I would like to avoid demorphing if possible.>

"Huh, something that can cause damage to equipment, but still small enough to be stealthy," Rachel mused. Marco snapped his fingers, something that I  _ still _ have been unable to master, and smiled. 

"Rat!" he said, and I was filled with an appreciation for his quick wit, as time was of the essence. 

Before I could truly indulge the feeling of fondness, I was mostly-rat, a quite polarizing earth animal. Rachel, Marco, and Prince Jake think they are disgusting, and shudder at the sight of them, Cassie and I think they are cute, and would make excellent pets. Toby, however, says that she prefers mice and voles, as she cannot swallow a rat whole. 

"Crap, Ax, what should I pretend to be looking for?" Marco muttered to me as I clung to the inside of his pant leg. Rats have better hearing than Humans or Andalites, but not by much, so I was only barely able to hear him. Denim is a Human material with many wonderful properties, one of them being sound-dampening. 

<Peruse the computer parts section, and if accosted as to why you are being slow, say something about parts compatibility,> I instructed. <To deepen your ruse, mention the words 'motherboard' and 'processor'. If you truly want to be left alone, say 'It's for Linux'.>

"Remind me to tell you that you're too big of a dork for your own good," Marco said softly as he made his way into the store.

<You were the one who taught me how to disassemble and reassemble a VCR,> I pointed out. 

Happily, the computer parts section served a dual purpose. I had spent long stretches of time back there, marveling at how human society had progressed so far with such primitive computers. Do you know they still use transistors? It's rustic to the point of being charming, and I was able to optimize several parts for my own terminal. Not only was that section of the store easy to get lost in, it also was quite close to the back, the area emblazoned with 'Employees Only'. Once Marco arrived at the rack of RAM, I made my way towards the door. 

Rats are flexible, and able to flatten their bodies to a truly astonishing degree, so fitting under a door was no problem for my rodent form. Before me lay a plain hallway with three doors, one of which was open. Carefully, I peeked inside. There were several employees sitting on couches, eating potato chips and drinking soda. The rat's instincts flared upon smelling the food, and I had to wrangle the rat under control. As stealthily as could, I made my way to the next door. This door smelled of all sorts of chemicals and fruit flavors, likely a cleaning room of some kind. I pressed on to the third door. 

The third door had very little light coming from under the crack, and it smelled lightly of ozone, a signature smell of human electronics. This must be the camera room. I squeezed under the door, and was rewarded with a room full of monitors. Big no! No, wait, the expression was… Bingo! That means 'correct'. There was a human sitting in a chair, idly watching the monitors and writing something on a pad of paper. It was dark, and they were facing one direction, so I chanced a climb up onto the equipment desk behind them. From what I could tell, the equipment was similar to a VCR, but far more robust in purpose. It was processing several tapes at once, probably writing the video feeds to them. All I had to do was find the one for the outside and I could destroy the evidence we were ever there.

<Everything going okay, Ax?> Toby called to me from outside. 

<I believe so. I have located the tape, though I believe if I eject it, the camera human will hear,> I answered truthfully. Tape machines, for all their elegance, were quite loud. The clattering of plastic and the stresses of capacitors dumping power into small motors during the eject sequence meant it was practically impossible to covertly remove a tape. 

<Do you need us to cause a diversion?> she asked. 

<Allow me to perform a few more minutes of analysis, and then we will see if that will be necessary,> I replied. 

Quietly, I climbed up the back of the tape machine, inspecting it for weak points. There was no place where a rat could gnaw its way in, and all of the cables were too firmly attached for my small body to be able to move them. Just as I was beginning to think the distraction may be necessary, I heard a sound. It was a biological sound coming from inside the camera human. 

"Break time," they said, and quickly got up to leave. 

<The human made a sort of gurgley noise in their body, and then left! What luck!> I called back to Toby, Rachel, and Marco. 

<Saved by Taco Bell,> Toby mused as I pushed the eject button on the tape slot labeled "outside". The tape popped out, smaller than a regular VHS, and I quickly set about it with my teeth. The tapes themselves are quite fragile, and the plastic containing them is easy for a rat to chew through. I made quick work of the casing, then set about the cassette itself. Teeth and claws damaged the magnetic tape beyond repair, shredding it quickly. 

<The evidence is destroyed! Marco, I will be returning to your pants soon,> I said happily. 

<Rachel is laughing her ass off, just wanted you to know,> Toby chuckled in my mind.

<Why?> I asked. All we had to do was extraction, and notifying Marco that I would be back soon did not seem to be particularly funny. Humans will be Humans, though. 

<We'll… We'll tell you later,> she said, sounding relieved that the mission had gone as well as it had. 

Mission accomplished, I waited by the door for the camera human to return, which took some minutes, nearly fifteen! Like I have said, they cannot keep to a schedule. The lights flipped on, something I was not expecting, and I noticed that this was not the camera human at all. It was a different person entirely, a man in a suit. He looked at the destroyed cassette, down to me, and quick as a flash, stepped on me, crushing my back end and keeping me from escaping. 

<Aaah! Marco, help me, I've been captured!> I cried. The pain was immense, but the abject fear was worse. There rat's brain was screaming that it was going to die, and my own conscious mind was little better. 

"Well well well, my subordinates  _ weren't  _ lying," the man said, a smile breaking out into his face, and terror breaking out in my mind when I realized who this was. 

<No…> I gasped. He just laughed. 

"I've captured one of your little group at last,  _ Andalite." _

  
  



	11. Esplin II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alloran is the name of Visser 3's andalite host, just for those who don't know.

[Continuing memory dump to Invasion Log, Unified Date 901-243-01, first planetary infestation+23 local orbits.]

HAH! 

Those Andalite bandits thought they could evade me forever, could they? They were wrong!  _ Dead _ wrong! 

Who cares that my new captive destroyed evidence of whatever it was they were doing? I got him. That's all that matters, I got him! A young male, and  _ feisty _ . Several hork-bajir controllers lost limbs to this one when corralling him in a cage. I thought I would enjoy breaking the traitor from this morning, but  _ oooohohoo _ I am looking forward to breaking this andalite. Needless to say, I will infest him shortly after, learn all there is to know about his little band of troublemakers, then hunt them down. If only it wouldn't be so much work to fly around the Empire acquiring morphs again, I might trade out my host for this new one. Mayhaps I shall. I will take the best of their band, and present the rest as a gift to the council of thirteen. Six morph-capable bodies… I will be Visser  _ One _ soon enough! 

<So,> I said in a drawn-out tone. <You know this is the end for you. The end of your freedom, that is.>

The young andalite said nothing. He still said nothing when a controller jabbed him with a human device called a cattle prod. Very well, let him be defiant, it only adds to the enjoyment. 

<What is it that you were doing at the commercial center, young one?> I asked, my voice pure honey. Two jabs of the prod and still nothing. Just angry eyes. The look in those eyes, all four! The  _ hatred _ , the scorn, and Alloran forced to watch. I don't hear him much these days. But when I captured this one, I heard him cry for the first time in years. It was refreshing, knowing he's still suffering. What fun would it be if he didn't? 

Jab, jab, jab. Increased voltage. Jab, jab. 

<Yeerk scum, you will get  _ nothing _ from me!> he shouted as he writhed on the ground. I could feel Alloran's brain feeling sympathetic pain, a ghostly shadow of a sensation that species who store their genes in dumb  _ animo acid helices _ experience. It was intoxicating, to say the least. The faint shadow of sensation from making him watch, oooh, it was pure bliss. 

<There now, young one, but I've gotten something from you already,> I oozed, playing up the smugness. Andalites are arrogant creatures, and lording their failure over them is the worst thing one can do to their psyche. <You exposed your entire operation! All your allies… We will know their names, their faces, and how to find and capture them. All thanks to  _ you. _ >

<No.>

<What?> I snapped. 

<No,> the prisoner said, with an almost agonal chuckle. They placed their tail blade to their throat and smiled with their eyes. Alloran, that old fool, he was cheering. I shut him up quickly. 

<You would commit suicide, then?> I asked smoothly. I wasn't worried. I have watched dozens of hosts threaten to commit suicide, and they never do. Not until they have been a host for a long time, and even then, most break long before they get a chance. They become like cattle.

As if to answer my question, the andalite drew his tail back for a strike on his own neck. I laughed. Perhaps the only greater reward than breaking an Andalite was being so intimidating they break themselves. Ha! 

I watched with all four eyes, eager to soak in this memory. Then I heard a crash come from the other side of the pool. 

  
  



	12. Marco V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Canon-typical violence and gore.

Tobias had already flown off to grab Jake and Cassie, because there was absolutely no way we're going to let this stand, and there was no way we could manage this without them. Ax got captured by the Visser 3, and we were going to rescue him. 

<Alright, Toby and Ax aren't allowed to go to the mall anymore,> Jake said firmly as we flew back towards the mall. Tobias was going by Toby now? Whatever, that wasn't what's important. 

<So what, we're just gonna charge right in and say 'give us back our friend?' We're gonna have to do some recon, Jake,> Cassie pointed out as we landed out by the soccer field. The sun was down by now, and school had been closed for a few hours. That meant the janitor's closet near the vice principal's office was our own personal entrance to the yeerk pool. At one point they had installed a gleet biofilter, but Ax had tweaked the settings so we could get in whenever we wanted, undetected, and Chapman was none the wiser.

<I'll go in as a bat or something. Scope the place out,> I said. I wanted to get in there as soon as possible, and take Ax out just as fast. I didn't knew what they were doing to him in there, but it couldn't be good. I was trying not to think about it, but I was chomping at the bit to get in there and start bashing heads. This must be how Rachel feels _all the time._

"Not bad, but you need backup," Jake said, fully human once again. "I'll come with you."

There's my Jake. My best bud, my pal. The guy who pretty much always shoots down my ideas, sends us on dumb, poorly-thought-out missions, but listens to me when the chips are down. Or, well, the Ax is down. Either way, I was incredibly grateful he was seeing it my way. 

"So I'll just go grizzly and hang out on the stairs until you spot him?" Rachel huffed as we jogged towards the back entrance of the school. Jake gave her a grunt of approval, and she smiled. "Let's do this."

<So where am I in all this?> Tobias asked. 

"Extraction," Jake replied as we jogged inside, cocking the door open just in case. "Be ready with something fast to get him up the stairs, he might be hurt. Just be ready to carry him if you have to."

<Roger dodger,> she replied. 

<Cassie, you're on support, pick something that help Rachel. We're playing this one fast and loose, we don't have time for planning,> Jake said, a few seconds ahead of me in our bat morphs. 

The yeerk pool has a lot of stairs. Like you know that part of the castle in Mario 64 where you just keep climbing if you don't have enough stars? Yeah, it's like that, but for descending. Imagine if you put Edison field, the Big A, inside the Batcave. That's the kind of scale we're talking about. It's probably twenty stories down, and thirty stories tall in volume. They must have infested seismologists first, because I didn't even know a cavern this huge could exist when I saw it for the first time. But we'd been up and down this particular set of stairs a few times, but this felt like the fastest we'd ever gone down them. Maybe bats are fast. Maybe it was adrenaline. 

Jake and I rocketed out of the stairway and into the pool, looking around with echolocation for anything fuzzy and andalite-shaped. Either way it would lead us to one of the people we were looking for. 

<Ax?> I called out privately.

<Marco? You have come for me!> I heard Ax's voice say. I got a little flutter of hope in my tiny bat chest. 

<Yeah, the gang's all here, we got you, bud. Where are you?> I asked, cutting Jake into the conversation. Thoughtspeak works like that, kind of like a chatroom. 

<I believe I am being held nearest the mall entrance,> he replied, his voice sounding pained. <They are torturing me.>

I frantically echolocated, and found him, Jake saw him too. He was squirming around in a cage. He looked pretty beat up. I needed to be something big, and fast. I had to smash something.

<Rachel, Cassie, we found him. He's with Visser three by the mall stairs, behind some kind of portable trailer. Make a diversion and we'll meet you in the middle. Battle morphs,> Jake said. 

I was way ahead of him. I landed flat on my face on the other side of the portable, just a few sheets of wood and insulation separating me from Visser 3 and Ax. I started demorphing before I hit the ground, and I barely registered any fatigue when I morphed into Big Jim. Jake was in tiger mode, and we crouched as we waited for the girls to start the diversion. 

<Hold on Ax, we're right here, just hold on few more seconds,> I said, trying to comfort him. 

<Your presence has already comforted me greatly. I have convinced the Visser that I am about to commit suicide rather than be infested,> he said calmly, and I could sort of feel a secondhand sense of security in the back of my mind. Was that how Ax was feeling? 

<Jeez, morbid, dude,> I replied. 

I heard a crash from the other side of the yeerk pool, and saw a door fly off its hinges. Rachel was full grizzly mode, pushing equipment over, and Cassie was snapping at passing controllers. 

<FOOLS! It's the andalite bandits here to rescue their friend!> I heard the familiar cartoon bad-guy voice ring in my mind. <Capture them!>

That was my cue. I grabbed onto the overhanging roof of the portable, swinging myself up on top, then jumped down to deliver a flying elbow drop to Visser 3 that would have made Macho Man Randy Savage proud. Sure, I took a tail-blade to the shoulder, but V3 wasn't going to be walking anywhere with a broken back. I whirled around to hammer a Hork-Bajir controller holding a cattle prod, and heard Jake eviscerating another controller behind me. Not seeing any other threats directly around us, I tore the door of the cage off and offered a big gorilla hand to Ax. 

<Hey Ax,> I said in the best casual tone I could muster. I had to look badass after single-handedly incapacitating Visser 3. 

<Marco, um, hello,> he said, all four eyes wide and pointed at me, something he'd told me was surprise or confusion. He was likely in shock. No pun intended. 

<Can you walk?> I asked. He kicked a leg and tried to stand up, but he was like a drunk baby horse. He wasn't going to be able to keep up anytime soon. 

<Uh, guys, I know you're having like, a moment or whatever, but we've got company,> Jake said behind us. I looked over my shoulder to see a group very pissed-off controllers running towards us with dracon beams.

<Sorry, Ax, but we gotta get going,> I said, picking him up as gently as I could and slinging him over my shoulder. I heard a vague growl of anger from Visser 3, and I suddenly saw a tail blade swing towards my throat from the broken andalite beneath in front of me. Tail blade cracked against tail blade, and I could see Ax defending my neck. Unfortunately, since his--well-- _backside_ was facing the Visser, there wasn't much he could do about defending his own flanks. I felt the sharp pain of a dracon beam searing through my flesh, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the Visser's tail blade sink deep into Ax's side. Ax was tough, I knew he'd taken worse and survived, but something in me snapped. Like I didn't care about my own safety anymore, just wanting to hurt the guy who hurt Ax more than anything. 

I roared at Visser 3 and grabbed his tail blade in my hand, bending it backwards and snapping it clean off. My hand was a mess though, and I was losing a little bit of blood from a few different wounds. A little from each, but it was adding up. As if things couldn't get any worse, Jake was being piled on by a number of Taxxons. I charged forward in a three-legged knuckle walk, bowling them all over with the shoulder that didn't have Ax draped over it like a fox stole. 

<Ax, morph, _now_ ,> I said firmly. 

<I'm trying! The electricity interferes with morphing ability, that's why they were using it on me,> Ax replied evenly, but I could see his eye stalks beginning to droop, and his thick, molassesy alien blood was leaking all over my arm. This was not good. I knew Visser 3 didn't have long until he morphed his injuries away, so I grabbed Jake by the scruff of his neck and practically _threw_ him in the direction of the exit. 

<We gotta motor, dude!> I said, only just becoming acutely aware of the half dozen needlepoints of pain lancing into me as was peppered with dracon beam fire. 

<You all ready on extraction?> Jake called to Tobias. 

<Yeah, I rigged up a sort of sledge from the door Rachel broke. I'm a horse right now, and I can pull you all up the stairs if you're human-size or smaller,> she said. 

<How's it going on your end?> Rachel asked not sounding at all phased. As we moved as fast as we could to the exit, pretty much ignoring dracon beams from sheer adrenaline, I caught sight of Rachel tearing into a group of Hork-Bajir. She wasn't looking too hot, cut up in a bunch of places, but there were _piles_ of bodies around her. Taxxons, Hork-Bajir, even a few humans. It was like a war movie. 

<We're on our way out, so if you can clear the area around the stairs, that's all we need,> Jake said, a hint of desperation in his voice. So far I thought the rescue was going pretty well. Well, minus the part where Ax was bleeding out and unable to morph the wound away. 

<Sorry Alloran!> Ax called, a name I'd heard a few times as being Visser 3's Andalite host. I felt bad for the guy, having to endure Visser 3. I threw out a hasty apology as well. It made us seem more like Andalite bandits, so why not? 

Jake and I made it to the little clearing by the stairs. Cassie and Rachel had pushed the controllers away, and were slowly backing up to cover us. I saw Tobias hitched up to a rusty door like some kind of Amish Mad-Max movie, and placed Ax as gently as possible on the makeshift sledge. 

<Go!> Jake shouted, and Tobias started to gallop up the steps. I knew from experience that going up stairs with hooves is pretty hard, but whatever, call it practice for walking in heels. 

We all funneled into the stairwell, and Rachel, in a rare moment of strategy-over-smashery, managed to pull a forklift into the doorway behind her. It was pretty well lodged in there, and I heard an explosion once a few yards up the stairs, indicating they blew the propane tank with their lasers. We ran up the stairs as fast as we could, until we finally reached the balcony on the other side of the janitor's closet. We all started to demorph, knowing it we had to be fast birds, and _yesterday_. 

"Ax?" I asked, giving him a nudge on the shoulder. "You gotta morph, dude, you're safe. Let's go."

<Marco, you saved me,> he said, sounding faint. 

"Yeah Ax, but we gotta go, come on!" I pressed. 

<I thought we were going to miss our date,> he said airily, as if unaware of the situation he was in. 

<He's delirious,> Cassie surmised, already an osprey, talons clacking on the floor as she awkwardly bird-walked over. <He's lost a lot of blood.>

"Ax, please!" I said. I'll admit it, my eyes weren't entirely dry. But we had just tried to hard to rescue him, and it was all about to be for nothing. 

<You put yourself in danger for me, and now I have ridden a door to safety… It is just like Titanic,> Ax said weakly, and my heart ached. He reached out a seven-fingered hand and rested it on my cheek, and I felt something between us. Some, I don't know, _something_ flowed from me into him, and he suddenly looked a lot more aware. He drew his hand back, and began to morph. I started morphing with my back turned. I didn't want them to see me cry. If they did, they still haven't mentioned it. 

It's easier to keep your emotions in check inside the mind of an eagle. I let my relief pass as we flew back to Cassie's barn, the pre-arranged meeting place. 

<Thank you all for rescuing me,> Ax said solemnly once we were on the wing, navigating by streetlights.

<Please, Ax, we don't leave Animorphs behind,> Cassie tutted. 

<Plus who else would do my calculus homework?> Jake said, but he only got a pity laugh from Cassie. Those were the only two who weren't really aware of why we had to go on a rescue mission in the first place. How stunningly bad Tobias and Ax's execution had been. 

<Still, Andalite military doctrine would have demanded you not endanger yourselves. I am in your debt,> Ax said curtly. He spoke to me privately, in a much softer tone, though, and I was filled with that weird secondhand feeling again, this time of gratitude and relief. <Thank you especially, Marco, you gave me enough strength to endure.>

<So uh, Marco, what was that back there?> Tobias, (oh, no wait a sec, _Toby_ now, right?) asked privately. 

<What do you mean?> I snapped. Probably harsher than I meant to sound, but she was undeterred. 

<Ax told me that he borrowed some of your… _isthanoc_ . He says the closest translation is _will._ He said that only happens when two Andalites are very close,> she posited. I could tell she wanted to start making extrapolation, but I shut that down pretty quick. 

<I don't know what he's talking about. He was just delirious. Maybe the torture wore off. Who knows?> I said. 

<Aha, I getcha,> Toby replied cheekily, a smirk in her tone telling me she didn't buy a word of it. 

We made it to the barn and checked the time. 2am. Those of us with parents were gonna be toast when we got home. Toby, however, had only one thing on her mind. 

<Oh Jesus God fuck damn shit mother **fuck** I need to _sleeeeeep, > _she groaned. <I'm sleeping in the barn, Cassie.>

Not a question. A statement. And she meant it, too, because by the time I looked up, she was already head-under-wing, dead asleep. Rachel, Marco, and Cassie all said their farewells and hurried home, leaving just me, a very asleep tweetybird, and Ax. 

<I have never seen anyone 'flex on' Visser 3 like that,> he said, using a phrase I taught him. <It was magnificent to watch.>

"You didn't do so bad yourself. I would have gotten a Columbian necktie from that asshole if it wasn't for you," I replied. Ax trotted in front of me, and wrung his hands. Neither stalk-eye was looking at me, and I knew he felt kinda weird about something. For all the differences in body language between us, I'd gotten to know them pretty well. It struck me that I hadn't thought of him as _an Andalite_ in a long time. I just thought of him as _Ax_. 

<I have something terrible to admit to you,> he said. I clocked an eyebrow, and he continued, <When I put my hand on your face, that was-->

"An Andalite kiss, I know. You've mentioned how that works before," I interjected. "I don't mind. You were pretty out of it."

<But you don't know about the conditions under which _isthanoc_ can transfer between two beings,> he said shakily. <That requires a very strong bond. And I have been getting impressions of your feelings when we are near each other.>

"Huh, me too," I said off-handedly, a little surprised if was a thing for him too. 

<You felt…? Then that means our bond is mutual,> he said, all four eyes studying me intently. 

"What does that mean?" I asked. 

<Being able to draw upon one another for strength and will, having an extended telepathic link, as well as having a sense of each other's feelings… those things mean we are pair-bonded,> he explained carefully. <A more powerful psychic link like this is usually only formed between lovers.>

Lovers? I don't know if I like that word, 'cuz it has all these _physical_ implications, but… After my initial shock, I thought about it for a second. Why would I have felt so desperate without him? Who did I enjoy spending time with more than anyone else, who else's happiness made me as happy as his? 

Yup, he was right. I totally had it bad for Ax. 

He must have gotten that feeling via radio, because his eyes got all smiley. He raised a hand to my cheek and left it there holding it gently, and I wanted to hug him. So I did. I pulled myself close and wrapped my arms around his torso, only pulling back to put my hand on _his_ cheek. I wasn't sure I was doing it right, but he seemed happy all the same. 

<I am glad we made this discovery, Marco,> he said gently, running his fingers through my hair as I rest my head on his chest. 

"Yeah, me too," I said, before wryly adding, "I can't wait to show you human kissin'."

We stood like that for a few minutes, just enjoying each other. It was a weird feeling. He was an alien, but not really. He was _my_ alien. Maybe we were both desperate or maybe we were both just weirdos, or we were made for each other. Maybe we were desperate weirdos made for each other. All I can say is it felt good not to feel alone anymore. 

<You should get back to your home,> he said, releasing me from our hug. I nodded, reluctant to step away from him. <I will see you tomorrow, Marco, we _do_ have a date to prepare for.>

I turned away and began to morph, giving Ax one last smile before my face got too deformed. He laughed, which made _me_ laugh, and soon we were both laughing our asses off at how silly I must have looked, half human half osprey. It took me a few minutes to take off and head home, and I felt like doing aerobatics and belting out showtunes the whole way home, I can't guarantee that's not what happened.


	13. Ax VI

I awoke early, as I always do. I went outside to the nearby pond, and performed my morning ritual, reflecting on the events of the day before. It had been a very busy day. We had gone to the library, the mall two times, and we escaped from yeerk clutches. On top of these successes, Marco and I discovered we had feelings for one another. I think it was a very successful day. 'Most triumphant,' to quote Marco. 

<Morning Ax,> Toby called from a nearby tree. I squinted around with my stalk eyes, but she made it easy on me and fluttered to a nearer branch. 

<Good morning, my shorm. I trust you slept well last night?> I surmised. It was strange when the other Animorphs viewed my morning ritual, but Toby had become an integral presence in the ritual over time. Without her silently observing, it would not feel complete. I do not think she achieves the same peace from it that I do, but sees it as something peaceful all the same. A window into her father's culture, one she was always ravenous to know more about. 

<Yeah, I was out like a light,> she chuckled. <I feel _sooo_ much better.>

<Have you eaten?> I asked, trotting towards the meadow where we sometimes share meals. I admit I do not relish watching her eat living things, but I do enjoy sharing time and experiences with her. 

<No,> she said simply, circling overhead as I took in nutrients thought my hooves. She dove on some rodent or another, eating alongside me. I was glad that the tall grass blocked her from my view, but when she had swallowed the last of her breakfast, she flew up to my shoulder. She rode on me sometimes, and I do not mind, as it shows she is close with me, to overcome the instincts of her nothlit body. 

<So, um, Ax,> she said, sounding unsure of herself.

<Yes?>

<You know that DNA thing you said you'd show me…?> she asked hesitantly. I smiled.

<Of course, Toby,> I said, grazing my head against her plumage with great affection. I had always enjoyed her company as a person, but being able to help her with something so fundamental and uncomfortable made me feel truly privileged. Being able to enjoy a freer, more comfortable version of herself brought me joy. We went back to my scoop, and I set aside some clothes for her. 

<Would you like to morph to your default body so you can compare the two?> I asked. 

<No,> she said quickly. <No.>

I had her close her eyes, and I coached her through the frolis maneuver. 

<Focus on your own DNA. What you look like. What it feels, or in your case _felt_ like to be you. That's how you select your own DNA,> I said. 

<I got it, I think,> Toby said, a hint of displeasure in her voice. The first part must evoke bad feelings for her, but the subsequent steps would be easier. 

<Now, focus on the females you acquired yesterday. Not on their individual traits, but on _what_ they are. Human females, with all the trappings,> I continued. 

<Okay,> she breathed in my mind's ear. 

<Merge the two concepts. Think of your old body, being a normal human female. With as little difference as possible. Who you are, and who you want to be,> I finished. 

<Okay. Done.>

<That's it,> I said, smiling down at her. 

<Wait, that's it? Just focus on the in-between?> she asked skeptically, eyes open, staring at me with her piercing raptor stare. 

<Yes, when you focus on what you want to become with regular morphing, the technology selects that DNA. If you create a DNA profile from multiple selected sources, you can mix and match features of individuals from the same species. You focused on your own, natural features, and on the features you _should_ have, and simply replaced the associated DNA. In humans, I believe it would be a Y chromosome being changed out for another X built from the samples you acquired,> I explained. 

<So I'll look like what I would have looked like if I was born correctly?> she asked, astounded. 

<Yes, your specificity should change little about your genes except your sex,> I confirmed. 

<What if I'm ugly?> she asked, hesitant. 

<We can always add more DNA, change features around if you aren't satisfied,> I said soothingly. 

<Okay.>

She closed her hawk eyes and began to change. She is no morphdancer, so it was not elegant, but when she finished, she certainly appeared to be a human female. She hastily dressed herself in the clothes I had set aside for her, since no way to avoid morphing into a brand new body and lacking artificial skin, and turned around to me. I was stricken by how recognizable she was, even though the clothes were much too large for her. She was certainly the human we had known as _Tobias_ , but more gracile and delicate. Smaller, differently proportioned in places. But still clearly the same being. 

"How do I look, Ax?" she asked, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth, stifling a smile. I admit I was a bit surprised as well. I had known she would sound like a female, but hearing my shorm speak with that voice was jarring at first.

<Quite feminine,> I offered, though it was clear I wasn't _entirely_ sure. I am not the best judge of human attractiveness, and she knew it, giving me a skeptical look. <How do you feel?>

"Not… Not _wrong_ I guess," Toby said, struggling to put it into words, but still smiling at the new feeling. "Physically, I feel okay. No more little nag in my head telling me I suck."

She walked over to where I had a small mirror--a gift from Rachel--looked at herself for a few seconds, and began to cry. 

<Oh, don't cry Toby, if it's unsatisfactory, we can try again!> I reminded her as gently and sympathetically as I could. I trotted over to her and put a hand on her shoulder, a human gesture of comfort. 

"It's not that, Ax…" she sniffled. "It's… I can finally look in one of these damn things and see myself _._ How I'm supposed to be."

She turned around and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tighter than I thought a human her size could muster, sobbing into my chest, which seemed to be a popular place for people to rest their heads these days. After a minute or two, she calmed down, and let me go so she could inspect herself again. 

"Holy crap, Ax," she said, her breath hitching. "Holy crap, this is real. I'm _me._ "

<Of course you are, now you just have a body to match,> I agreed. <Now, I understand from television that this should excite you more now that you are a human female, but I have some _gossip_.>

"Wait, wh-- how can you be _this_ accepting and somehow be _that_ sexist?" she asked, her face incredulous as she wiped away tears. "I'm still me, dude. Still the same under the hood."

It was true. She was still the same. But she is my shorm, and I know how to rile her. 

<Oh,> I said coyly. <I suppose you won't want to hear about how Marco and I _pair-bonded_ , then?>

That changed her attitude quickly. 

"Fine, fine, be sexist or whatever, but tell me what was going on with you two last night?" she asked, annoyed I would make her wait. "What's with the whole life force transfer or whatever it is?"

I proceeded to explain how Marco and I had feelings for each other, and we had discovered it though having strong psychic link. I told her how we embraced and shared a long mutual kiss. 

"Well that's awesome, Ax, good for you, dude!" she said, giving me a light punch in the arm, something Marco does from time to time to show affection. They _do_ so show their affection in the strangest ways. 

<Will you help me craft an ensemble of clothing for our date tonight?> I asked. 

"Pff, you think I can dress you up? I grew up poor and haven't worn clothes regularly for like _five years_ , man," she pointed out. "My fashion sense at this point is like, _flannel._ And nothing else."

<Rachel says flannel went out of style years ago,> I countered. 

"Well, she's a girly girl, so of course she would say that. Still, we do have to pay her a visit soon regardless. She and I never really got to, you know, clear the air," Toby said, picking her words deliberately. 

<Are you sure you want me to be present for that?> I asked, knowing how private Toby was and how… _Rachel_ Rachel could be. 

"Of course, you're my shorm, Ax. Besides, I'm gonna need backup," she said, grimacing. "It's probably better if I turn up as a hawk."

<I see.>

Toby reluctantly demorphed, and we flew to Rachel's home, perched one telephone pole away from each other. 

<Rachel, you up?> Toby called. <School starts soon, so we just wanted to swing by before you had to go.>

It was the oddest thing, hearing her voice in my head again. It was much closer to how she sounded in her new human morph. That was something I hadn't expected, and would certainly warrant further research. Rachel flung her bedroom window open, looking equally surprised. She looked rougher than usual, less put-together, and her hair was in a towel. 

"Tobias. Ax," she called, nodding to each of us in turn. 

<So uh, what are the odds you can help dress Ax for his date with Marco tonight? I think he needs something a little nicer than a t-shirt and shorts for this,> Toby asked. 

"Oh, you two are having a date?" she asked, a smirk playing at her lips, suggesting she had already heard. 

<Yes, I believe we have feelings for each other, so I would like to look nice,> I said happily. The very concept of it was still new in my mind, and thinking of it brought me joy. 

"Well, I mean, I can't really skip school today, I'm in deep shit with my mom as is. And you two are banned from the mall for a while, seeing as how yesterday went," Rachel replied, grimacing. "But we could always go to the outlets after school," she added helpfully. 

<Is there a yeerk pool entrance at the outlets?> Toby asked. Rachel shrugged. 

"We'll find one if there is," she said in an even tone. After a moment of hesitation, she addressed the pachyderm currently in our room. "You sound different, Tobias."

<Yeah… I kinda wanted to talk to you about that,> Toby agreed sheepishly. <I know you don't like it. I know you don't get it. You can hate me if you want, just give me the dignity of-->

"I don't hate you," Rachel interjected. "I don't. If that's who you want to be, then that's fine, but, I can't stay with you." 

<That hurts but… It's how things are. It's not who I want to be, it's who I am,> Toby replied. I was proud of her. For once she seemed confident enough to stand up for herself on the matter. Standing up to Rachel, of all people. I supposed seeing her new human self was all the confirmation she needed. 

"It's okay," Rachel replied. "I'll get over it. It'll take me a while, but I will."

<Me too. But once that happens, can we still be friends?> Toby asked hopefully. Rachel rolled her eyes. 

"We already _are_ friends, dude," she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "That's not going away."

<Thank you,> Toby replied, satisfaction in her voice. A moment passed where nothing was said. 

"I'm assuming you have no idea how to dress yourself either, huh?" Rachel asked, a sly smile playing at the edge of her lips. 

<Probably not,> Toby admitted. 

"You're coming with us then," Rachel said firmly. 

<Thank you, Rachel, see you then,> I replied, pleased this whole affair had been bloodless. Rachel dipped back inside and continued whatever she had been doing, and Toby spoke to me privately. 

<Leave it to Rachel to turn our breakup into an opportunity to go _shopping,_ > she giggled. 

<We are who we are,> I agreed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I borrowed a line from Bird in a Cage, sue me. It was a great line.


	14. Marco VII

I'm not really an alarm clock kind of guy. I usually just get up when I get up, and most of the time it's early enough to shower and go to school. I'm not really a fan of being woken up, so imagine my surprise when my  _ father _ was poking me in the ribs to wake me up at like, 6 am. Did he have no respect for the sanctity of rest!? 

"Marco, wake up, we have to talk," he said. I expected he'd be annoyed, but he seemed more… Disappointed. That always sucked. I could handle disappointment as a kid, I always preferred it to having him be pissed at me. The older I got, the more disappointment became the worse of the two. Like I was a failure, or making him sad. It crushed me.

"...Mmyeah?" I said groggily, sitting up and rubbing some sleep out of my eyes. I glanced at the wall clock, and immediately felt the lack of sleep crush me. Today would be a coffee day. 

"Marco, you're an adult now, so I can't tell you where to go and what to do," he said, looking torn. "But you have to let me know where you're going, okay? I just want to make sure you're safe. That's you're not doing bad stuff."

Oh, it was one of  _ those _ conversations. Ever since we started with this whole Animorphs business, he's been worried I was in a gang or something. Doing drugs, maybe. I wish I could tell him what I was really doing. Just to put his mind at ease, not that telling him I was risking my life all the time would help with that. I wish I could spend more time with him all the same. He's a pretty cool guy. 

"I was hanging out with someone," I said groggily. "I picked up a date for tonight," I said, hoping that would throw off suspicion. It was technically true, I  _ was _ out last night saving Ax from being tortured and infested. That string events was almost eclipsed in my mind by the moment we'd had in Cassie's barn. How nice it felt, and how strange it was to feel like that towards someone else. 

"Oh, really?" my dad asked, a little surprised. 

"Yeah, why is that a surprise? I'm suave," I responded, a little hurt he didn't think I had  _ any _ game. 

"Have I met him before?" he asked. 

Wait,  _ him?  _ He knew? Oh crap. Major oh crap moment right there.

"How long have you…?" I trailed off, too shocked and stunned to form a complete thought. 

"You're my son, Marco. I've known for a while. It's none of my business who your date, but just know I've got your back, kid," he said, smiling at me. He seemed pretty relieved I wasn't getting up to mischief. 

"So, how could you tell…?" I asked. 

"There is only a certain level of interest a guy can take in Patrick Swayze before other people get suspicious," he said, smiling gently. 

"Hey, he's not even my main guy right now!" I protested. 

"Yeah, but the same thing goes for Mel Gibson. And before that it was George Michael, and David Hasselhoff before that," he said, counting them off on his fingers. How dare he hassle the Hoff! I buried my face in my hands. God, my dad had been worried I'd been in some gang, but this was worse, now he knew I was a  _ fanboy _ . 

"You don't care?" I asked, just for confirmation. 

"Why would I? Do you care that I'm into women?" he retorted. 

"Well, yes, actually, I'm pretty glad, otherwise I wouldn't be here," I quipped. My dad chuckled at that one.

"So do I know this lucky guy? It's not Jake, is it?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. 

"Ew, Jake, dad?  _ Bleugh _ ," I said, feigning a barfing motion, and my dad snickered into his hand. Still, he was being cool, I figured if I was gonna have Ax around here in the future I might as well be honest. "You remember Ax?" 

"Yeah, the computer genius from Canada," he replied, dredging up memories of when Ax was new to the planet and was absolutely  _ awful _ at passing for a human. He'd visited a few times since then, but that first visit stuck out in my memory as really weird. He accidentally set computer science forward a few decades, and made my dad think he was autistic. 

"Yup."

"Good for you, Marco. I see a lot of guys like him in the software industry, you know. It says a lot about you that you're able to see past his social abnormalities," he said proudly, probably happy at the prospect of me bringing a new computer guy into the family. 

"Yeah, he's kinda weird, but… I don't know, he's just  _ who he is _ , know what I mean?" I rambled. "The weirdness is just the backdrop to who he really is as a person," I finished, surprised at how  _ normal _ it sounded when I said it out loud. 

"I'm glad for you, Marco. I always did like that guy," my dad said, rising from my bed and making as if to leave. "Get some sleep, kid."

"Thanks," was all I could manage. He clicked the light off, and I slept like a log for another few hours. 

Sure, I was late to school, but whatever. I'm a senior, it's late in the year, and I'm not university material anyway. Community College material, probably, but not university. Freakin' Cassie got into all the big universities in California, and I'm just hanging out here holding it down with a C average. Anyway, I showed up during second period, which I just so happen to share with stellar-student Cassandra. 

She snagged a seat next to me, which would have been a big nono a few years back. We tried to stop from being a group in public, but Cassie was known as my best friend's girlfriend. It was pretty natural that we'd interact, as long as it wasn't as a coherent group. 

"Soooo," she said. "A little birdie told me Ax is  _ very _ excited for your date tonight."

Spare me, I didn't want to hear it from her right after hearing it from my dad, but then again, I probably acted this way when she and Jake got together. Having your friends get together is juicy info. Sue me. 

"A birdie? Or a bear?" I asked sardonically.

"Bear," she replied evenly. "The birdie told me you two are an  _ item _ though."

I buried my face in my arms on top of my desk. News travels fast via the Animorphs News Network, apparently. And  _ some  _ people suck at keeping secrets even though I kept  _ theirs. _

"I think so. Probably," I mused. We were a thing, right? Andalite kissing and thoughtspeak on steroids had to mean something, right? "What's it to you?" 

"I don't know, I'm happy for you two, I guess. Having each other to rely on," she shrugged. I could see how that would be where her mind went. She was probably the most even-keeled member of the group besides Ax, and Jake had mellowed out considerably once they got together. I guess I could sympathize. I missed the bro time, but I was happy with anything that kept him from imploding. 

"Speaking of  _ togetherness _ , the bear wasn't too thrilled with the birdie last night," I posited. "They still a thing?" 

"No," she said. Great, this is what Jake had always been cautioning us against, having a messy breakup if we dated within the group. Take that, Prince Jake. I still felt crappy for Rachel and Toby.

"Sucks for both of them," I said, and I was surprised at how much I meant it. Toby was kinda like Jake, in that her relationship with Rachel was one of the only things keeping her attached to the human world. For the past year or two Toby felt more like a second Andalite than one of us. Hopefully she could figure out a place for herself now. I doubted it, cuz she was still one weird-ass emo kid, but I could hope. 

I think Rachel, on the other hand, saw Toby as something of a morality pet. Her poor precious bird she dated so she could believe she really  _ wasn't  _ Xena, Warrior Princess. Something redeemable about her life, one thing that could be almost normal. That, and Toby was only one left over besides me and Ax. Toby drew more strength from her than Rachel did from her. At least that was the impression I had always gotten. I could be wrong, they were both pretty private about it. 

Second period ended, and my next class was across the school, meaning I got to pass by the janitor's closet. It was taped up with yellow caution tape, and there was a big trash can in front of it. I had to stifle a chuckle at how ineffectual of a barrier it was. They should have taken a page out of Rachel's book and stuffed a forklift in the door. 

Third period was English, my best subject. Better than my grade in Spanish, anyway. Best subject or not, I felt a vague inkling of dread because I hadn't even  _ touched _ my copy of Madame Bovary in the last few days, and we were supposed to have a test today. I would have asked Jake to copy off him, but he had actual aspirations, so I couldn't put something like that on his record if we were caught. It wouldn't be a very  _ bro _ thing to do. 

"You didn't study, I can tell," Jake observed as he slid into the desk behind me. 

"Yeah, no, I'm gonna bomb this one," I said glumly. I could kiss the one A I actually had goodbye. 

"Don't worry, man, I got you," he said. 

"Don't risk it dude. You're going to college next year," I cautioned. 

"Alright, if you say so," he said, avoiding eye contact. 

"You okay?" I asked suspiciously. 

"You down to hang out on Sunday?" he blurted in response. It was weird, he hadn't asked to hang out in a while. We'd always been busy with Animorphs stuff, and he'd been busy with Cassie, while I'd been hanging with the Scoop Troop. But it felt good. I had been sort of disappointed we hadn't been able to hang out at the mall the other day, getting all wrapped up in the Hawk and Pony show and the drama that went with it. Hearing him at least make an effort at a rain check was a step in the right direction. 

"Yeah, that'd be pretty good," I said, with my first genuine smile of the day. 

The test wasn't very long, and Jake moved to a seat near the teacher's desk for some reason. He finished awfully quick, whereas I was struggling to pick even one answer that looked right. He turned his paper in, and quietly, but not too quietly to hear, if he could go change for PE early. The teacher let him, of course, Jake was one of those kids who was never in trouble coming up through school. A guy who projected responsibility, got good grades, and wasn't a show-off or teacher's pet. The same stuff that made him a good leader made people take him at his word.  _ Any _ teacher let him bail early if he asked politely. 

Traitor! He left me to die in this class, struggling to even find a single right answer. I didn't want to cheat off him, yeah, but at least stick around for moral support, dude! Then I heard something, a sort of faint buzzing, and I had to change my opinion. 

<Number one is A, dude,> he said as a fly, landing on my shoulder. I've been a fly, and I don't know how he was able to make out the words on my paper, but apparently it's possible with enough effort. <Two is C,> he continued. 

He guided me through the rest of the test, and I was pretty sure he had actually read the book. He buzzed off just before the bell rang, and caught up to me in the hallway after class. 

"Thanks man, that was pretty cool of you. You didn't have to," I said. 

"I wanted to make it up to you for the other day. For being how I was," he replied. 

"Water under the bridge, dude. Forget about it," I laughed. A thought occurred to me, I still had no idea where the hell I was gonna take Ax for our date. I figured the newly cool-with-us Jake might offer some insight. "Hey, you're a guy in a stable relationship."

"Yeah?" he replied, and I had to ignore the urge to make a bad horse pun, or hang a lampshade on the fact that he and Cassie had their first kiss in an actual barn stable. 

"So, I'm having trouble thinking of something fun for Ax and I to do. We've been to the movies a few times as friends, but I wanna keep him away from anywhere with a pool--you know the kind--for a little while," I managed. It was weird to talk about being into guys, especially since it was something I never billboarded, but talking about in a relationship with someone… It was a different level of awkward. Jake looked thoughtful for a moment and clicked his tongue. 

"Well, Ax has been to the Gardens, but I don't think he's ever been, like,  _ to the Gardens.  _ Like a regular person," he said. "Cassie's got season passes laying around because of her parents." 

That hadn't occurred to me. It sounded like an actual fun time. Setting him loose on rides and watching him gorge himself on street food? It sounded like a good time from my end, and I bet he'd have a blast. 

"Saved my ass again, bro," I said, and held out a fist. We pounded it, and at least for the moment, life was good. 

  
  
  



	15. Ax VII

I knew Rachel was a very forceful person, but she seemed to have very strong opinions on clothing. I feared I may have stepped into the one thing she enjoyed more than battle. 

"Ax, you're kidding me, right?" she said sarcastically when I emerged from the dressing room in my chosen ensemble. 

"No, I am not kidding you. --ngyou. These pantaloons are very practical, look at all the compartments they contain!" I said, zipping and unzipping many of the zippers on the leg coverings I had chosen. They were fill of pockets, and even the bottoms could be unzipped and removed for precision thermal control. It was  _ my kind  _ of garment. "Think of all the things I can carry without encumbering my hands!" 

"Alright, you can get them, but they're definitely not first date material, Ax," she said, rubbing her eyes. 

"I shall have to make do with a f-ff-fanny pack," I concluded. 

"Oh my God, dude, that's somehow  _ worse, _ " she groaned. "Look, you can dress like eurotrash later, just let me pick something out for you this time, okay? Marco will thank you later."

I felt disheartened that my innate fashion choices were so unacceptable, but I accepted her advice. She  _ was _ the Queen of the Mall, as the others had said. While she was being harsh with me, she was being even harsher with Toby. 

"I told you Toby, no flannel," she said, smacking her forehead when she saw Toby emerge from her own changing room. "And what are those boots?" 

"Uh… Hiking boots?" she said. The looked to be sturdy foot-coverings ideal for keeping moisture from entering them, something that human feet are apparently quite sensitive to. 

"Do you have a shred of fashion sense? Because _you're dressed_ _like a homeless lesbian,_ " Rachel chided quietly. 

"I literally live in the woods!" Toby retorted under her breath. Rachel thought for a moment, and shrugged. 

"Fair. You can dress like grungy granola if you want, but when you're with me and Cassie, you're going to dress like a civilized woman," Rachel said firmly. I retreated back into my changing room to try on some other items, hearing them bicker as I walked out of earshot. 

"Cassie literally dresses in stained farm clothes!"

"Cassie's a lost cause!" 

I realized I should probably placate Rachel by putting on some things she had picked out for me. They were full of needles that needed to be removed, and the shirts had far too many buttons to be practical. But I was able to manage, and put one on to the best of my ability, despite how form-fitting the clothing was. I even remembered her advice to wear a belt. I returned to hear the two women continuing their quiet argument. 

"All I'm saying is I don't have anyone to impress anymore!"

"How about the girl who spent a God damn  _ hour _ figuring out your freaking cup size?!" 

"Oh you seemed pretty impressed alright!"

I got their attention by waving my arms just as it looked like Rachel was going to snap and strike Toby. They both looked over and fell silent. I looked between them, hoping I was wearing everything correctly. 

"Is this fashionable?" I asked. 

"Holy crap, Ax, you clean up  _ nice, _ " Rachel said. 

"Hollywood nice," Toby echoed. 

"Well, I wouldn't go  _ that _ far," Rachel retorted distantly, not taking her eyes off me. "But soap opera nice at least."

I smiled. I had known the others thought I had good features, but I was glad to know I wore clothing well. I am only of middling attractiveness as an Andalite, so perhaps I would enjoy the perks of being handsome. 

"I  _ am _ young, and occasionally I am restless," I replied. "Are clothes truly such a large factor in attractiveness?" 

Both of them nodded. I decided to test something out that I had seen on television. I spun around on my heel, something I never would have been able to do if not for years of walking on two legs, I folded my collar upwards, and pointed towards them while extending my thumbs upwards. "Stylin'," I said in a special tone reserved for only the coolest Humans, like Keanu Reeves and the Fonz, and punctuated this with a wink of the one eye, something quite difficult to do, even  _ with _ practice. 

Their reactions could not have been more dissimilar. Rachel buried her face in her hands, while Toby began to laugh. I was disappointed, until Rachel told me that Marco and I 'deserved each other.' Toby was hanging off the clothing rack, laughing for several minutes while I went back to try on more clothing. I was pleased I was entertaining. I only hoped to be as entertaining as Marco someday. 

  
  



	16. Marco VIII

I put my clothes in a nice duffel bag and flew to the Scoop. I was running a  _ little _ late, but Ax expected that from me by now. I run on island time, esé. I landed, demorphing and getting dressed, since it wasn't a long walk to the bus stop. I knocked on the door, which wasn't something I usually had to do, since Toby was pretty much always lurking in the trees and could hear me coming, and would tell Ax to leave the door open. Ax answered the door, however, dressed in what I gleaned to be  _ very _ nice clothes. I mean, I was wearing a regular old Tommy Hilfiger, but he was done up like a Telanovela star. Even his hair was done. To say I was stunned would be putting it lightly. 

"Hello Marco!" he said happily, beckoning me inside, hopping back to the couch on one foot. "I am nearly done getting dressed."

I was still in a little bit of shock when I saw him struggling to put his other shoe on, but then I caught sight of another person in the scoop. Someone I'd never seen before, kicking back with one leg hanging over the couch, soda in and in the remote in the other like she owned the place. 

"Dude, Ax, you can't just bring randos back to your, uh, apartment!" I cried. I knew he wouldn't be stupid enough to let her know he was an alien, but still. The sacred space had been desecrated by some--

"Marco, it's me," the chick said, and then I got a good look at her face. 

"Holy crap, it's  _ you _ ," I said, recognizing her as Toby. She looked like  _ Tobias _ , you know, like old,  _ human _ Tobias, but just a genderbent version. 

"Sup?" she asked casually, bouncing her leg on the arm of the couch. I was still searching for words at this point, but Ax helpfully filled me in. 

"She merged her own DNA with that of the females from the mall yesterday, like I did with all of yours. This is the most I've seen her enjoy her human morph in years," he said, smiling. 

"Well, mazel tov, Tobes," I said. Being able to morph was pretty sweet at times. It was cool that she could enjoy being a human again, even if just for two hours at a time. 

"Yup, spent all day with Ax and Rachel. Went shopping," she said nonchalantly, as if that wasn't the longest she had spent as a human since… like, since we  _ met.  _ "This is feels  _ way  _ better than before."

"Hey now," I said, concerned. I walked over and looked her in the eyes. "Don't get stuck again, Kunta Kinte."

She pulled an annoyed grimace, pointedly avoiding completing the joke by correcting me, and pointed to an hourglass on the coffee table. It was something we'd all chipped in and bought for the Scoop Troop, so they could spend time in morph if they wanted to, specifically so Toby could teach Ax how to human. That hadn't gone so well, so it ended up being used only when I came over. It was calibrated for an hour and fifty-five minutes, and had a little chime for when time ran out. 

"Alright, just be careful," I sighed. "We need you."

"I'm not gonna get stuck," she said, indignant. "We talked about this before, man. War first, personal stuff later."

"Yeah, yeah," I agreed, struggling to think of what else to say. I came up with perhaps the most awkward way to phrase what I meant to say. "I'm surprised at how nice you look. Um, like yourself, I mean. How you used to--but not a guy."

She shrugged, smiling a small smile and trying to hide it behind a sip of soda, trying and failing to force a sarcastic tone. "You too, Marco."

"Big no!" Ax cried as he had finally wrestled his remaining shoe on. Somehow, I found this adorable. "Uh, I mean, Bingo!" 

"It's easier to put them on if you untie them first, you know," I reminded him gently, offering him a hand. "Ready to go?" 

"Certainly," he said cheerfully. Taking my hand and standing up. He was excited, like a little kid on Christmas. It made me feel good to make someone that happy, especially him. 

"You look really nice tonight, Ax," I told him on the walk to the bus stop. I caught a vague secondhand sense of pride from him. We were an odd sight, two nicely-dressed guys walking through the woods at night, but I shook the feeling off. I was determined not to be self-conscious, and just enjoy the night. 

"As do you, Marco, though that is true all of the time," he replied. 

The bus ride was short, since it was Friday, meaning everybody and their mom was going to the Gardens. Sure, there would be lines for stuff, but Cassie's parents passes had 'employee' on them. That meant skip-the-line tickets for everything.

"Where are we going?" Ax wondered as we approached the park entrance. 

"You'll see. It's somewhere you've been, but haven't really  _ experienced _ ," I said cryptically. He thought for a few moments, and nodded. 

"Ah, I see, we are going to the Gardens," he said. Perks of having an alien boyfriend: everything is new to him and it's fun to introduce him to it. Downsides: he's too smart for his own good. 

"You're too smart for me, Ax," I said, crossing my arms. 

"I am excited nonetheless, Marco," he said, leaning against me. "Thank you."

For a moment I considered reminding him that we were in public, and society isn't really ready for us yet, but I didn't want to spoil the moment. Besides, it was public transit. We could have pulled out a propane stove and started making frying up some bacon and nobody would have batted an eye at us. Such is LA. 

"You ready?" I asked, when the bus rolled to a stop outside the parking lot. 

"I am," Ax said, smelling at me. He'd been smiling the whole ride over, probably because he wasn't used to moderating human facial expressions. It was kind of dopey, but endearing. Ax in a nutshell. 

Even though the place was packed, we got in pretty quickly. I snagged a park map for Ax, and he looked down at it like I'd handed him something in Chinese. 

"Need some help?" I offered. He nodded, and I sidled up next to him to explain how it worked. "We're right here," I said, pointing to the entrance on the map. "Over there are the animal exhibits, we've seen those on the sly, and  _ been _ half of them," I joked. "Rides are this way, and there are shops, concessions, and neat little curiosities all over the place," I said, tracing my finger over each as I explained it. 

"What do you think we should do first?" Ax asked. 

"Nah, come on man, I've been here tons of times. You pick!" I told him. He seemed hesitant, and asked if we could walk around a little to get a feel for the place. 

We set off in the direction of the rides, taking a leisurely pace, enjoying being next to each other. We stopped several times when Ax spotted some plants he'd never seen before, like bamboo, banana leaves, or palm fronds, which were all part of the vaguely jungle-themed ambiance. He asked me what most of them were, and I could only tell him about one in five for certain. Regardless, he did his best to sneakily tear off a leaf or two of each, for 'research.' Ax is about as sneaky as a five year old who narrates their late night mission to the cookie jar, but it was cute to see him doing his best to maintain an unconcerned front. I knew he really just wanted to try eating them in his own body, and I didn't want to ruin the illusion for him. 

"I have never seen so many humans in one place," he commented once we got near some of the more popular rides. "The mall is never those busy, nor is your school this crowded." 

"This is actually pretty light for a Friday," I told him, and a roller coaster thundered overhead. Ax ducked, looking at the track, looking a little jumpy. 

"The lights, the music, all the commotion…" Ax trailed off. 

"Is it too much?" I asked, hoping I hadn't overwhelmed him with all these things at once. I wanted to give him a taste of some of the best things humanity has to offer, but I might have given him a little more than he could take in. 

"No, we have seen battle, I am not overwhelmed. But it seems… Loud. There is much going on, and I don't have all of my eyes. I feel…  _ Exposed _ ," he explained. "I sense you are feeling guilt, please don't! I'm just… Not from here."

It must have been pretty jarring. The guy spent most of his time alone in the woods with the world's quietest parakeet and a TV for company. His greatest exposure to human society was coming to our houses, school once or twice, and the mall. Of  _ course _ this place would be foreign to him, that was why I wanted to take him. But it was  _ too  _ foreign. I found an empty bench, and he followed me to sit down. 

"It's alright, Ax. It's a lot of new stuff going on, and I don't think I really explained what the point of an amusement park is," I said. 

"To amuse one's self?" he surmised. 

"Not really. Nobody comes here by themselves. It's to amuse the people you  _ bring with you _ . Parents take their kids, boyfriends take their girlfriends, friends take each other… it's all about having a good time with them, having fun because  _ they're  _ having fun. Seeing the people you care about having a good time is the whole point. What do you think all the wacky decorations are for?" I asked seriously, waving a hand around at a ride facade that was styled to look like an old western rocky mountain mine cart track, and then over to a store that looked like something out of Star Trek. 

Ax wrinkled his nose, then guessed. "Novelty?" 

"Exactly! It's all just set dressing. To cut loose, lose yourself in the weirdness and stuff. To forget about your life for a while, forget whatever else is going on and just kick back like you have no worries," I finished. Ax looked around the scenery, watching younger kids sprint around and parents chasing them with strollers. Employees in themed costumes going about their business. The splash of a log flume bottoming out. And then he smiled. 

"I understand!" he said, and I got a big blast of joy in the back of my mind. "It is a place for people to recapture the whimsy of youth!" 

"Nailed it," I said, snapping my fingers. That was a way more eloquent way of putting it. I don't know who taught him the word 'whimsy', but I'm willing to bet it was TV Land. 

"Thank you, I understand much better now," Ax nodded happily. "Shall we explore some more?" 

"Lead the way, Ax," I said, smiling as we got up. He took a second look at the crowd, thoughtfully. 

"I am glad we are here, and I will do my best to 'cut loose'," he murmured. "But the crowd and unfamiliar landscape still disorient me. May I hold your hand?" 

If he'd asked me a few days ago I would have wanted to say yes, but ultimately declined. It was in public, and even in California, displays of affection between guys earned stares. But fuck 'em, let 'em look. I was proud of my new boyfriend, and what the hell were they gonna do about it? 

I held out my hand to Ax, and he took it in his own. I felt that weird  _ something _ from last night, the stuff that saved Ax, acting up again. But it wasn't one-way, this time. It felt like a circuit between us, like we were sharing whatever it was. Psychic energy, I guess. Ax smiled at me, and I gave his hand a squeeze. He was an alien, but he was  _ my _ alien. Ax took the first step, and we happily set off into the night, content with whatever we could find, since being together was all that mattered.


	17. Ax VIII (fin)

I never understood the human phrase that one's head is spinning, until tonight. The sheer variety of things to do, simulators to ride, and foods to consume was astounding! It would have been too much if it wasn't for Marco. He was by my side the whole time, and I felt safer and more comfortable than I thought I would in such an unfamiliar environment. I felt the sensation of my head spinning, but it felt good. Submission to the thrill of the evening. The feeling persisted even when I de-and-remorphed in an employee restroom. It was an intoxicating feeling. I found myself laughing more easily, being more affectionate with Marco, and allowing myself to take more risks than I ordinarily would. The human simulators, roller coasters and the like, did not look safe at all, but if Marco rode next to me I wasn't nervous. 

I could sense his happiness when he watched me taste the different Sodas of the World (the one from South Africa was best), and he even put his arms around me as I attempted to whack moles. We shared a knowing look when we passed the tiger enclosure, plus the gorilla and grizzly bear. He broke into laughter when I said how this gorilla wasn't as handsome as the one I knew, and he leaned against me as we watched Prince Jake's tiger eyeing us coldly. We flit from one activity to another, and I am certain I would not have appreciated the experience if it was not for my favorite human at my side. Everything seemed easier with him, more natural. More enjoyable. We held hands and  _ isthanoc _ flowed between us like plasma, making me intoxicated with my feelings for him. 

"So, would you call our first date a success?" Marco asked through a bite of churro as we neared the park's closing time. 

"It has been wonderful!" I exclaimed, losing a few crumbs of giant turkey leg to my enthusiasm. I had never been comfortable with plain meat as I had seen it as something of a barbarism, but Marco had convinced me the giant turkey leg was 'an institution' and that I should at least taste it. I did, and I now know I enjoy turkey very much. Toby would never let me forget my sudden change of opinion, if she had been here to see. 

"I had a great time too, dude," Marco laughed. "I was a little worried at first but you took to it like a fish to water." 

"Well, I enjoyed making you happy. That is the point of an amusement park, is it not?" I replied, very pleased that his logic worked both ways. 

"Well, I mean, with the whole telepathy thing we've got going on, it's kind of hard not to be happy when you're having a blast," he said, gesturing with his churro. "Is it a feedback loop?" 

"It can be. Not often, but sometimes. I think our link is strong," I said truthfully. 

"Well I can deal with that, Ax. I'll just have to make sure we're never bummed at the same time," he mused. We finished the last of our food, and resolved to go on one more ride. 

"What are you feeling like?" Marco asked. I didn't want to give away my plan, though, so I feigned nonchalance. 

"Oh, pretty much anything is fine. Shall we make our way to the exit and see what catches our eye?" I suggested slyly. Marco nodded and took my hand. 

I liked it when he held my hand. Beyond the telepathic link, it was simply physically pleasant. Feeling him as a thing with mass that I could touch still felt  _ strange  _ to me, in a good way. The notion that he was  _ mine _ to touch, and that he enjoyed mutual contact, was equal parts jarring and exhilarating to me. We walked in silence, feeling satisfied and small next to the excitement of the evening, until we came to my the ride I had wanted to share with Marco from the moment I saw it. 

The ferris wheel. 

You may laugh, yes, it is quite a tame ride, and both of us had flown higher than it's apex before just yesterday, but there was something peaceful about it. Like a slow, serene riverboat from Andal, but in the air. I had seen ferris wheels in a number of movies, and they certainly had a romantic connotation, but I would trust that Marco would not know I was aware. 

"Perhaps this?" I asked, putting on my best casual voice. Marco studied me for a moment, before agreeing with a smirk. A few minutes later, and we were in a bench seat overlooking the Gardens. It was beautiful, in a starkly artificial sort of way. 

"Marco?" I said, breaking the silence of our peaceful observation. 

"Hmm?" he replied, turning to me with a lazy smile. 

"Are you aware that ferris wheels are considered romantic, in places?" I asked, doing my best to sound unconcerned, but I was quite nervous for what I was going to do next. 

"Of course, Ax," Marco replied, looking at me fondly with an intent I couldn't measure. 

"Then, I would wonder," I said. "If it would be appropriate to do  _ this. _ "

With that, I leaned in and pressed my lips to Marco's. He slid towards me, and I took his face in my hands as I felt his mouth with my own. It was soft, indescribably so, and warm. I could see why humans enjoyed their version of kisses so much. I pulled back, rubbing my thumbs over his cheeks in my own sort of kiss. He studied me, surprised. 

"For a guy born with no mouth, you're  _ really _ good at that," he breathed. " _ Do it again _ ." 

And so I did, but he returned my passion more intensely this time. There is a sort of desperation; impermanence in a human kiss. Like you want to become one with the other. Our feelings flowed between us, and things were sublime. 

"I am  _ very _ happy I let you go through with your little scheme," Marco huffed, a lopsided grin on his face. "And let me tell you, great location. You're a natural romantic. The way you tried to keep it a secret was adorable."

"Wait, you  _ knew _ of my intention to kiss you up here?" I asked as we began to rotate down. 

"Telepathic link, Ax," he said, leaning into my torso and sighing contentedly. I didn't even mind that he'd known. That meant he wanted me to. 

"Thank you for letting me," I replied, wrapping an arm around him. "I am sorry for attempting to deceive you."

Marco hugged my chest and snuggled closer into me in the crisp night air, and I felt him slip into the same peaceful sense of comfort serendipity that filled me. "Lie to me all you want. Just don't stop being my precious alien."


End file.
